7 reasons why poets suck; are you one of them?

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Are you a fledgling poet and an extremely “good” one at that but wondering why you are unable to keep the circle of friends you once enjoyed? Do well-meaning friends always have an excuse to avoid your lunch invitation? Are more and more members of your family enacting the Cheshire cat on the dinner table as you roll out your book of poems?  Do you constantly hear yourself talking to voicemails or phone lines going dead?

Then it is time to take this quiz. If you have answer “yes” to 3 or more points, chances are you are one of the dreaded poets people love to hate. *Scary music*

  1. You Lie constantly: You have the constant, incurable need to fabricate lofty, soaring descriptions out of every day mundane events. The innocent barbeque at your friend’s backyard becomes a playground for the Greek Gods all complete with Hermes, Zeus and Aphrodite playing tags. Washing your hair resembles the Niagara Falls thundering down your head. Picking the weeds from your handkerchief garden reminds you of the prairies complete with fairies and pixies…Get the drift? Then my friend you suffer from poetic exaggeration. Give yourself a point.
  1. You have no place for the ordinary: The chief protagonists in your poem are in a constant state of euphoria even if all they are doing is passing gas. There is absolutely no such thing as an “ordinary” day. The synonym for boring is ordinary and ordinary does not belong in your poems because poetry is all about life extraordinaire. Correct? Give yourself a point.
  1. You are time blind: Time blindness is a major sickness many amateur poets suffer from. You basically only recognize two time zones: Dusk and Dawn. The sun is in an eternal state rising or setting. Ours must be the busiest planet in the Galaxy, with people constantly racing to either go to bed or wake up! Give yourself a point and underline it.
  2. You suffer from the curious case of adjectivitis. This is a very common and unfortunate disease that most poets and writers suffer from. If you are constantly dishing out adjectives like Santa dishing out toys on 25th of December than you suffer from adjectivitis. It’s Nasty! Do you often catch yourself adding meaningless adjectives such as “bright day”, “dark night”, “hushed whisper”, “tall palm trees”…? Be honest now, you know you have done it…
  3. You are guilty of Necromancy: Are you constantly invoking the Greek Gods to do your dishes, or take the dog for a walk? Some poets think poetry is all about the exotic and the more Greek Gods they invite to their living room and share their cheap $6.00 Chardonnay, the better their poem becomes. No, No, No please let the Gods rest in peace, unless there is a genuine reason to invoke them from their resting heavens! Give yourself a point my friend.
  1. You rhyme on a dime: If you think the idea of creating music in poetry is to rhyme at any cost then my friend you are creating another reason for the rest of the world to hate us. Rhymes make up for great nursery rhymes but don’t rhyme on a dime on somebody else’s time! Give yourself a point.
  2. You are “Killing me softly” with trite sentimentality: If you catch yourself explaining your pain or sorrow with trite words such as “pain”, “sorrow”, “tear drops” and “shattered shards of your heart” then give yourself a point. Good poets stay away from expressing their sentiments in trite language instead they paint a picture. Stop crying “tears of blood” instead give yourself a point, you have earned it!

If you have answered “yes” to at least 3 out of the 7 points then you have committed the Deadly sin of writing boring poetry. You suck as a poet.

But fear not, you are in good company with “yours truly” who has pleaded guilty on all counts. And may the souls of all who died listening to our poetry rest in peace! Amen.

Photo Challenge: Creepy

New Orleans is famous for its Cemeteries so much so that it was nicknamed as the “City of the Dead“. The Cemeteries are unique in that they are built above the ground, since the City is built on swamp land. As a child I used to find visiting Cemeteries spooky and creepy even. Today, I visit them with a more somber attitude respectful of the sleeping place of the Dead.

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OOPS!: The Laws of Creation

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I love Found Poetry. The concept of Found poetry is similar to borrowing your grandma’s old tatters and stitching them into a glorious summer gown. Here is my contribution to the world of found poetry. I wrote this poem a long time ago when I was in school learning Object Oriented Programming. I should add I was not very good Programmer and at best would have made a mediocre Programmer after years of practice. Fortunately enough, I moved to another profession. However, this poem is based on the Principles of Object Oriented Programming and compares them to the Laws of Creation. Let me know if I went too far? If not, feel free to pingback with your own creation.

Object-oriented programming (OOP) is a paradigm that presents the concept of objects having attributes and methods that are similar to a human having a distinct personality and behavior.

People are instances of humanity and are fashioned to interact with one another to design and create societies.

Species are like blueprint or prototype from which instances of objects or people are created.

People inherit certain attributes from their specie with certain superficial differences and elementary similarities which help them aggregate.

Aggregation is the process of creating a new object or person from two or more objects or persons.

The central theme of creation is code re-use, where the same DNA can continue to produce more DNA with minor enhancements and unintended relegates.

At the root of existence, lies an object or a person. Once created, an object can easily be passed around the system. By interacting with only a person’s behaviors, the details of the person’s internal implementation can be hidden from the outside world, and from the person.

The object or person must comply to the rules set by the programmer and always fulfill its purpose.

Pluggability and debugging are solutions to be used if particular objects or persons turn out to be problematic or incapable of fulfilling their purpose. You can simply remove the problematic object or person from your application and plug in a different object or person as its replacement. Law, Government and Religion have been instrumental in plugging and debugging problematic source code.

OOPS is the language of creation that we must all commit.

Neha Jain

Daily Prompt: But No Cigar

Neha Jain:

I wanted to repost an old story I wrote. Its a quick and fun read. Enjoy!

Originally posted on U Be Cute:

Tell us about a time things came this close to working out… but didn’t. What happened next? Would you like the chance to try again, or are you happy with how things eventually worked out?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CLOSE.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/category/daily-prompts/

________

Angels are recruited just like plumbers, craftsmen, teachers, politicians, priests and so forth.

 Walk-in interviews are held all over the world in pre-disclosed locations such as bars and restaurants over a glass of beer or wine (whatever your preference).

 Intent upon joining the ranks of some well-established Angels such as Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, I walked into the “Blue Wings Dive Bar” on San Vicente, Los Angeles, which as I learned was holding interviews for the position of Junior Angel for Los Angeles.

 The bar had a gothic ambience with ominous overtones. It was very dark with tall ceilings, and red roughed out tapestry and wall hangings. A…

View original 451 more words

Are Toilet scenes trending up?

I love movies. But I rarely sit and watch an entire movie in one sitting (never enough time). I often switch the Television on while working in the kitchen or having dinner. Yes, I know it is a bad idea to watch TV while having dinner. But I do it anyways!

So here is my problem. It is really annoying to cozy up to your Television while enjoying a bite only to be thrown into somebody’s bathroom ritual with the camera zooming in on the Toilet!!! I simply don’t get the fascination of modern movies with toilets!

Is it my imagination or are there a lot more Toilet scenes in the movies these days? Most of the time the Toilet scene adds nothing to the story line. I get the Director’s are trying to build a real-life image…or go for the big laughs, but is another boring Toilet scene the only way? Have you considered creating a more ingenious story line and dialog?

Surely, Hollywood can come up with a few other creative ways to keep audiences engaged. And what with all the reality TV shows where are we going to end if this Toilet fascination continues?

Believe me, I am all in favor of healthy bathroom habits, but I think it’s a private deal. So here is a humble plea to the Director’s and the Censorship Boards of the World.

Cut out the Toilet scenes, PLEASE!!!

Top 10 feel good flicks

Do you have a ritual that always works to get you out of your blues? Is there a book, movie or a spa treatment that will get you to turn your frown upside down in no time? I wanted to start a list of my favorite feel-good flicks. Here are my top 10 fav’s. Can you pick this up by adding a few of yours?

  • True Lies (1994)
  • Bridget Jones (Part 1 and 2)
  • Big trouble in Little China (1986)
  • Rocky (1976)
  • He’s just not that into you (2009)
  • Far and Away (1992)
  • Miss Congeniality (2000)
  • The Holiday (2006)
  • Wedding Crashers (2005)
  • How to lose a guy in 10 days (2003)

NOLA – The Big Easy…

New Orleans had been on the top of my bucket list for so long that I almost did not believe my ears when my husband suggested visiting New Orleans for his Birthday in May 2015. We stayed at a hotel which was walking distance to the French quarters.

The first thing we wanted to do after the long flight was to stop at French Quarter and grab a drink. But the moment we stepped out of our hotel room it started to rain. Although I was hesitant to step out in the rain at first, I must admit it was the most amazing rain I have experienced in a long time. It made the muggy weather a tad cooler, but the rain felt warm and inviting to the touch. And when it stopped raining we dried up almost instantly.

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Colorful walls, elaborately decorated ironwork balconies

I fell in love with the old style architecture; the cobbled roads and the old-fashioned houses with ironwork balconies painstakingly decorated. For a while, I felt like I was on the set of Midnight in Paris, where a nostalgic Owen Wilson (a screenwriter) finds himself going back to the 1920’s every night. Most of the French quarter’s architecture was built in the 18th century.  There is so much going on here in terms of restaurants, shops, dive bars, concerts and more. DSC_0115

You really do not need to rent a car here. You can walk the entire area by foot. A lot of people chose to ride Rickshaws or horse pulled carriages.  There are several musicians and artists performing as well as painters and artists selling their artistic works on the street side.

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Are we still in America?
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Horse Driven carts are everywhere
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A bustling Jackson Square
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Told ya!
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God I love this place!

Jackson square is a famous landmark situated in the front of the French Quarter and throbbing with visitors, artists and musicians. On the opposite side of the square from the River are three 18th‑century historic buildings; St Louis Cathedral, The Cabildo (museum), The Presbytere (museum). DSC_0143 DSC_0144 DSC_0186 DSC_0192

The Katrina exhibit at the Presbytere is an absolute must see. They have done an excellent job of making an honest and a heart-breaking exhibit of what happened during Katrina. They had snippets of personal stories both inspiring and shattering throughout the museum. I absolutely loved their video and the interactive map with a minute by minute demonstrations of which levees broke when and where.

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Yours truly at the famous Marie Laveau’s

New Orleans is famous for its Voodoo culture. You can see the French Quarter is full of Voodoo shops, tarot card readers, and palmists. Needless to say, Voodoo is different from palmistry and tarot, but I love everything occult. If you are into the occult as well, you will find plenty opportunities to try your hand here (pun intended)! I did visit the famous Marie Louveau’s place. I had absolutely no expectations but some of the stuff the palmist told me about was surprisingly true and there is no way he could have known it by simply meeting me. So thumbs up!

We took a bus tour around the city and showed us some of the worst hit areas during Katrina as well as some of old and archaic cemeteries.  Here are some pictures from the 9th Ward and the neighboring wards. The 9th ward is closest to the Mississippi River and worst hit during Katrina. You can still see a faint yellow line on the light posts demarcating the levels that the water had reached during the outpour.

My favorite experience in New Orleans would have to be the Jazz performance at the Preservation Hall. The hall is a tiny place that seats no more than 70 people roughly. Be sure to stand in line an hour before show time. This place is always full! But I promise the wait is well worth the time. Preservation Hall is open for nightly concerts from 8 pm to 11 pm, seven nights a week, with the exception of certain holidays and special events.

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And he stood there frozen and unflinchingly still for hours

New Orleans is nothing without its Art and music. And music literally pumps life into its arteries. You will find more talented street-side musicians and artists here than anywhere else! And you do not have to be an aficionado to enjoy it. New Orleans will somehow engulf you in its unique style. New Orleans is a dream destination; a muse for the artist in you or anybody who loves History, music, art, wine, food, festival and loads of funDSC_0120 DSC_0146

Review on Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis

Tracy

Sometime early this year, I decided to start a completely new exercise routine that I had been hearing raving reviews for; Tracy Anderson Method.

It all started with an innocent if at all a bit vain google search that read like “Body Metamorphosis”. As you can expect Tracy Anderson’s Metamorphosis popped up in the top 3 search results.

Tracy Anderson’s method is broken down in 4 DVD’s (1 dance video and 3 Muscular structure workouts). You even get to choose the Method based on your body type: omnicentric, abcentric, hipcentric or glutecentric. I decided to choose Omnicentric because I honestly could not figure out which body type I am… *gulp* :(

I started the routine like I start almost everything; full gusto…The DVD’s come with a small pamphlet of food plan with menu items that would fill your appetite if you were a bird …a sparrow to be precise! It also comes with a pamphlet to track your progress (which I actually loved).

Tracy wants you to do 30 minutes of her dance routine followed by 30 minutes of the Transform DVD. Each Transform DVD has 3 unique workouts and is supposed to be completed in 30 days after which you move on to the next DVD and so forth. Here is my honest unequivocal review of her method.

Pros:

1)    Dance Cardio: I really enjoyed the dance DVD the first few weeks. The first time I tried it I absolutely loved it. I was jumping around like a little girl in my living room and all the movement got my blood pumping and my mood elevated.  The choreography is fun although difficult to follow at first, but Tracy does mention that if you cannot follow along you can freestyle it. I always believe that any exercise is better than no exercise and had no issues with free styling a large part of her moves. In the end, I was sweating like a dog and felt really happy almost euphoric.

2)    Any exercise is better than no exercise. This is also true for Tracy’s method. Tracy wants you to get a combination of cardio and body transforming muscle conditioning exercises on a daily basis (6 days a week) in order to make the change happen. In that, it is pretty effective. Both the 30-minute dance and 30-minute muscular workouts got me sweating and my muscles exhausted. Her workouts are constantly changing which causes sufficient muscle confusion so you do not plateau and continue seeing results.

3)    Muscular Transformation exercises are really good. This is not your typical High-Intensity Jillian Michael workout. These moves are mostly stationary done either standing or on your hands and knees. The focus is on intensity, repetition and muscle confusion. In just 30 days of working out to her routines, I did notice a definite muscle conditioning and my arms and legs felt stronger and looked more toned.

Cons:

1)    Dance Routine: Now for the cons. While I loved her dance routine the first 2-3 weeks, I started to tire off within a month of the same dance routine. The idea of using the same routine for an additional 2 months was really wearing on me. I even tried muting her audio and playing my own numbers, but I do enjoy variety. Also by the 3rd week my knees were really starting to buckle and hurt and I needed a break.

2)    Muscle definition Transform 2 DVD. Tracy is the queen of creating hard to follow exercises and really does not provide sufficient instructions during the routines. What’s more each week her workouts got not only harder but I feel: quicker and jerkier. What I mean is that she does not give you enough time to move from one sequence to the next, and I almost always ended up jerking my neck and back. I really did not enjoy her Transform DVD 2 and for a couple more weeks went back to her Transform 1.

3)    Diet Plan: I cannot speak enough on how dangerous, amateur and irresponsible her meal plan is. The fact that I tried to follow it for a couple weeks is something I am really not proud of. To start with I was not doing her workout to lose weight but to tone up. Her meal plan assumes that you are either a sparrow or you are working out to lose tons of weight. The truth is even if you are trying to lose weight, if you are exercising as much as she wants you to, it is essential to give your body wholesome nutrition so it can sustain the new and strenuous exercise routine. Her meal plan clearly lacks detailed research. I felt it was loosely put together without making sure that you get a good combination of proteins, minerals, carbs and fat required to sustain a healthy body. In just 2 weeks of following her meal plan I lost 4 pounds (which I did not need to) but I also lost tons of hair (which I definitely did not want to). I have since thrown away her diet plan and continued eating a balanced diet consisting of plenty of fruits and vegetables.

Overview: Even though I only lasted on Tracy’s method for a Month and a half in all honesty her workout cannot be completely dissed. Her muscle-conditioning routines are good and you do feel the burn in a very short time. I would have continued with Tracy Anderson’s workouts if the moves weren’t too fast, jerky and complicated for me to follow. I am taking a break from her workouts and am instead doing Piloxing by Viveca Jenson which I absolutely love and will soon do a review of. In all honesty if you are able to follow Tracy’s moves you will see results but be prepared to be really patient and expect little instructions during the program.

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Put your best face forward

To me beauty is not just about being attractive or following the latest trends in fashion. Beauty comes from feeling good and being confident and that happens when you are comfortable with who you are and how you look. It may be a cliche but beauty starts with beautiful skin and having a beautiful skin takes time and consistently following a good skin care regime.

Over the years my choice of beauty products has evolved, but one thing I would never do is go to bed without removing my make up and having a squeaky clean face. After cleansing I apply a moisturizer with Hyaluronic acid and Vitamin C. But If you cannot do anything in the very least never go to bed without removing your make up. Some women swear by just applying olive oil or coconut oil as a deep moisturizer. For me, I need something more potent; something with Retin A, Vitamin C, Glycolic acid and a great delivery system to allow it to penetrate into the skin to do its magic and bring about the change.

If you are looking for a new skin care regime then visit me on my Mary Kay website. For a limited time I am offering free make up remover, 20% discount, free shipping and tons of product samples on all your purchases.

But you don’t have to buy my products to have beautiful skin. Remember the secret to beauty is cleansing>exfoliation>moisturizing and doing this consistently until the end of your life or until you chose to have beautiful skin.

Room in a blur

You can count the perfect patterns of her expression
in the creased symmetry of her blue-green curtains.
Measure the dimensions of shadows or flashes of smile
that rise and fall on the contours of her face.
You can trace the magic inside the creases of her bed.
Even capture her colored energy in the pale peach taffeta ribbon
lying on her dressing table.
Admittedly, the color of her skin is harder
and more fleeting to taste
like eclairs au chocolat melting in your mouth.
Everything in the room is where it was when she left.
She took nothing with her
but the lily-white brilliance of her eyes.

Daily Post

Intricate

India is famous for its ancient monuments and their unrivalled architecture. Here are some pictures of old temples some of which are well preserved and others in ruins. Yet even the ruins are a great testimony to how incredible these monuments must have been in their day. It makes me proud to see the mettle of mankind when properly channelled! I hope you enjoy the intricate craftsmanship of these old pillars and ruins.

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