World’s Best Teleportation Device

Plane travel is overrated. In today’s world where time is the only exhaustible, non-renewable resource, plane travel offers an archaic sub-standard mode of transportation.

For one thing, you are subjected to a long and painful journey sitting in a cramped up space, eating unwholesome food and breathing the same recycled air for hours on a stretch. Not to mention, the absolute drudgery one has to endure before you even embark the plane; beating crowds at the airport, standing at the check-in line, going through a tooth cavity security check. I prefer getting my teeth drilled over traveling in a plane. It really takes something away from the joy of your vacation, won’t you agree?

Given magical Engineering skills, I would invest my time in building a teleportation device that allows one to teleport anywhere in the world within a matter seconds.

J.K. Rowling offers a second-rate “apparition” and “disapparation” method in the Harry Potter book series, allowing wizards to appear and disappear as needed. But why should wizards have all the fun? Yes I know, she clearly favors the Wizards.

Douglas Adam’s solution to teleportation in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” may be a bit less partial, but it is below average as well. The idea of having to rip one’s atoms in one place, only to put them back together somewhere else, does not excite me.

Christopher Priest in his Novel, “The Prestige”, is getting closer to my idea, with the teleportation machine Tesla builds. But it is too darn dramatic for my style.

Remember that Aladdin’s lamp that allowed Aladdin to transport himself from China to Morocco and back, with the entire Royal Palace? Now that’s what I am talking about! Traveling in style!

My solution in comparison would be cutting edge without requiring you to splinch, deatomize or suck your breath inside a weird teleportation machine. You program this widget identifying the exact location of your choice (like you would on a GPS) and it takes you there, complete with your family and your home, if you so choose. Eureka.

Clearly, the modern day airlines will be out of business as soon as my device is out. But it will allow millions of people around the world to be able to reunite with their loved ones within a fraction of seconds. Giving millions of busy professionals a chance to rekindle their love life. Imagine if you could travel from LA to Australia within a fraction of a second, spend a dreamy weekend with your partner and be back in time to go to work on Monday. Would you not want to do it?

No more jet lag, no more cramped seats or eating bad plane food. Come to think of it, who would need cars? Just teleport yourself to work and back.  This device would resolve modern day issues such as lack of time, bad traffic and pollution by the click of a button.

Maybe the next sequel would include a teleportation device that can teleport you to a different space in time, or a different galaxy? Meanwhile don’t forget to sign up in the comments section below, for a free ride. Remember it’s a limited time offer.

Happy Teleporting!


20 thoughts on “World’s Best Teleportation Device

  1. As someone who has panic attacks and mild agoraphobia, I’d love a device like this. I’d be wherever I was going before I had a chance to freak out about it (lol)

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