Daily Prompt: But No Cigar

Tell us about a time things came this close to working out… but didn’t. What happened next? Would you like the chance to try again, or are you happy with how things eventually worked out?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CLOSE.


Angels, demons and vampires are recruited just like plumbers, craftsmen, teachers, politicians, priests and so forth. Walk-in interviews are held all over the world in pre-disclosed locations such as bars and restaurants over a glass of beer or wine (whatever your preference).

 Intent upon joining the ranks of some well-established Angels such as Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, I walked into the “Blue Wings Dive Bar” on San Vicente, Los Angeles, which as I learned was holding interviews for the position of Junior Angel for Los Angeles.

 The bar had a gothic ambience with ominous overtones. It was very dark with tall ceilings, and red roughed out tapestry and wall hangings. A coffee machine brewed coffee on one side breaking the icy solitude of the place. The décor reminded me of a cheap production play themed around 16th century Renaissance period.

 A very small man with dark glasses sat at the other edge of the bar. He seemed to be deeply engrossed in his work.

 Without looking up he asked authoritatively, “Are you here for the interview?”

 “Yes” I replied beamingly.

 “Prior experience?” said the man without looking up.

 “Well, I just graduated out of the ‘Helping Hand’ university. I don’t have much experience just yet”, I said apologetically. “Um…But I am a quick learner” I added.

 The man looked up through his thick glasses. His face was wrinkled and his eyes twinkled with amusement, “Any freelance work or nonprofit engagements my fellow?” he asked kindly.

 “Yes, I once climbed a building all the way to the top, to save a little cat that was stuck on a tin roof” I blustered.

 “Good…good…And you saved the cat?”

 “Um..as it seems the cat did not need no saving, Sir. The moment it saw me it cried out really loud, and jumped off the roof and landed perfectly on its four feet, before running off”, I said.

 A shadow crossed over the man’s face. “Ahem…very good” …any other success stories saving animals, birds and the like?” His expression had changed.

 I shook my head.

 The man looked down at his work and hissed, “Did you ever do any community work?”

 “I once acted in a play. I was the laugh track; I could laugh the loudest and the longest. But it must have been a very boring play, because by the time it was done there was no audience left. The theatre was stark empty”.

 A tiny drop of sweat swept down the man’s forehead. He suddenly seemed to be deeply engrossed in his work again and wrote something on his scroll.

 He then said dismissingly, “Well then that should be all. You may leave now. We shall let you know of our decision shortly via the angel mail.” “Thank you for your time Mister …eh…” he stumbled for my name.

 “Dracula” I offered courteously, “they call me Count Dracula”.

 I waited patiently for years but the angel mail never delivered my acceptance letter. Must have been a system glitch.

 “Oh well, just as well. As you know life had better things for me, I have pulled up a decent reputation since then, sucking blood and stuff.

 But that day I was this close to becoming an angel and ruining it all for me. Saving old women crossing the road, or cat jumping off the tree. Hell No! Them angels almost had me…But NO CIGAR….”

 Ha, ha, ha.

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