Here and Now: Cherishing the birth of my baby girl

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I am officially a mom now. We were blessed with our beautiful baby girl on 13th August, after an intense day in labor. Having gone through the birthing experience I now understand how overrated birthing plans are. What happens during the labor and delivery is anybody’s guess and you had best not have too many plans, as chances are they will be flying out the window. Since I had a healthy pregnancy and my baby’s weight was 7.5 pounds according to ultrasounds, I was not planning on having a C-Section.

However, I quickly learned that there is nothing natural about Labor and that it is nothing short of agony. After several hours of painful pushing I was at a point where I was going to cry. I could barely breathe or think straight and asked the nurses if I could take a break and resume tomorrow. The nurses were kind but relentless and urged me to push on. Finally when after hours of pushing, the baby had still not descended (let alone crowned) my Doctor advised me to go for a C-Section. I must admit, I could not have acquiesced more gleefully. I also felt a bit guilty about taking the easy way out but I knew there was no way in hell I could push for another hour without passing out. Once the decision to the C-Section was made delivering the baby was a breeze.

During the entire C-Section my only fears were if my baby would be a healthy one. The C-Section was not painful, I was fully awake and aware of everything that was going on in the operation room but had requested not to be able to see anything. When I heard a small ovation from the nurses followed by a tiny wail, I knew the moment of truth was here.

I could hear my husband practically bouncing off the walls out of sheer joy, high fiving Doctors and nurses. Yet nobody bothered putting my worries to rest, nobody said, “Yes she is healthy and normal”. Nobody said, “Don’t worry, she has all ten toes and fingers and one head”. Nobody said she was “perfectly normal” the two words that felt dearer than anything just now… nobody said any of that and I could not see the baby myself from where I was, at least not until my husband brought this tiny bundle over by my side. It wasn’t until I looked at her sweet face and large contented eyes, that I learned my baby was absolutely perfect. Yes, she was going to be normal and a lot more. She was lovely; big black eyes that looked into mine and said, “Hello, I love you”. And suddenly it was as though this reservoir of uncontrollable love burst inside me, and I started to cry hysterically. My Doctor asked the nurse to give me an injection for my hysterics and I had to convince him I was only crying out of sheer joy.

I don’t think I will ever forget the moment when they first put her on my chest and she wrapped her tiny fingers around me. Her tiny embrace covered my entire world. I was hopelessly in love for life.

If the delivery was painless, the recovery was unfortunately a steep uphill. For two weeks everything hurt and I felt like an Egyptian mummy having to bind and hold my own stomach lest it should fall off on the way to the bathroom. The hospital food was bland and uninspiring. And short of the balloons and flowers my family brought me, my room felt like a torture chamber. When after four long days of recovery, they finally discharged me I was practically skipping my way out of the hospital…well not really… I was pushed me out on a wheelchair (hospital policy).

I had enjoyed the luxury of having my sister to take care of me for the first week. She had especially flown in from Massachusetts for the delivery. But because the baby was delivered a couple days before the day I was expecting to be induced, she had had to drive to the hospital directly from the airport. From the moment she entered my delivery room to the minute she flew out of LA, she was my rock. I cannot explain how important it is to have someone you can completely trust and feel comfortable with (besides your husband) during this time. Chances are your husband will be equally lost and beat (at least for the first baby). The C-Section leaves you with very little strength and you cannot be bashful about asking for help from nurses and your family.

After my sister left, I and my husband felt a bit scared taking care of a completely helpless baby all by ourselves. At first we were scared even to pick her or lay her down in her crib fearing we will hurt her delicate neck or Fontanel (soft spot on a baby’s head). We constantly googled the right way of handling the baby. Thank God for Internet and UTube we did just fine!

It’s now a little over a month since the delivery, and I can say with much regret that a good night’s sleep is now a thing of the past. If I ever complained of not being able to sleep well during my third trimester I should have known things can and will get far worse. For the first two weeks we barely got 3-4 hours of sleep at night. I know everyone suggests you to sleep when the baby sleeps. But that is not always possible. Once you are back from hospital there are always so many chores to do and things to take care of. Also I am not one of the lucky mothers who can sleep on demand. So I and my husband continue to survive on little to no sleep and look like a zombies, albeit happy zombies.

While so much about parenthood is intuitive, there is a lot which is not. For now my days and nights disappear into an endless frenzy of feeding, bathing, burping, swaddling, massaging and most importantly nappy changing the baby. Every day the baby grows bigger, we grow more confident in our parenting skills.

While good Parenting is something we will have to continue working on for the rest of our lives, we are truly grateful to have this beautiful baby to love and cherish. I had heard from other parents how having a baby will change your entire life but had no experience how a tiny eight pound bundle can turn your life on its head. And more notably, how you will never want to exchange the sheer madness of it all for anything else in your life…

Now over to you. Tell me of your first moments with your baby? If you haven’t had a baby yet, do you have memories of your sister’s, brother’s or a friend’s baby? Share your precious moments with Ubecute. If you already have a post on it don’t forget to create a pingback.

XOXO Ubecute now also Ubemom! YEAAA!

22 comments

  1. First of all, congratulations to you and your husband on your new baby. And welcome on earth to this little girl. There is no recipe to being pregnant and delivering a baby, even though tips from books and moreover other women who went through can help. I was totally lost for my first baby and almost got a C-section, too. But it was in France and physicians there (at least at that time) were more reluctant than American OBs to go through surgery. Retrospectively, it would have spared me hours of pain. The good news is that it was much much easier for my second child and her two siblings.
    As for instant love for her child, isn’t it amazing? Like you, I totally melted when I felt their little bodies against mine. I had the feeling to already know them.
    The hardest are the nights, that’s true. It gets better as the baby grows. My first one slept right at three months old, the night before I returned to work. Phew! My three other kids were a little faster. Until your little girl sleeps through the night, try to rest when she naps. I didn’t always do that, wanting to catch up with household chores. That’s stupid. Sleep first!
    And as you say, parents learn day after day. Confidence builds and things get easier.
    These are very special weeks you are living now. Hard but beautiful.
    I’m so happy for you.

    • Thank you so much Evelyn, for your kind words and for staying in touch. You are right about catching sleep over chores…but so hard to do especially when there is so much riding on you. But I will remember your advice 🙂

  2. This is such a cute blog and I loved reading it. Congrats on your first baby! Just by reading, I felt the true feelings of a mother. I’ve never experienced someone giving birth or myself for that matter (19 years old hahha) but it’s a roller-coaster and you know that giving birth will not be the end of the ride. ❤ hope you and your baby stay healthy and strong!

  3. Ok, so you said something about “taking the easy way out” in reference to your c-section. As someone who went the whole “natural” route and my babies just popped out, I would just like to say there really isn’t an easy way out option. Parenting is hard and full of lots of decisions as you have already discovered. Also, lots of second guessing. Even though I’ve never had a c-section, now that I’ve been through the birthing process, I know that it isn’t an easy way out.
    Congrats on your new baby girl!

  4. Congratulations! I have to admit that I was a little disappointed when I had to have a csecton, I felt like I was missing out on something. But I was completely awake and pain free. And yes, that first moment, when you hear their first cry and you exhale a sigh of relief – unforgettable! Hoping you have a speedy recovery and a strong and healthy baby girl!

  5. Congrats Neha on becoming a mother, enjoy the moments, they are the best. Motherhood is the best gift we receive, the labor pain introduces us to that self or part of us who was unknown until then, 🙂 .
    As you take care of the baby, see that you do not neglect yourself at all, self care and rest is important as you had a C section.
    Best wishes always. ashu

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