Crafting Poetry: A Guide to Emotional Detox

There are only 26 letters in the English alphabet, yet—when stitched into words—they offer an unbounded treasure trove of literature. In many ways, literature is our greatest gift—and perhaps our truest legacy.

Words enthrall me with their power. Empires rise and fall, but the muscle of language outlives them. Words can cut deeper than daggers, spark revolutions, rally armies, and kindle love in the emptiest of hearts. They shape our deepest beliefs—and just as easily, they can shake them. They can disillusion.

To me, poetry isn’t reserved for the chosen few. We should all nurture a daily habit of writing—it offers a much-needed emotional detox; a way to unburden the mind.

Writing poetry is deeply personal. But when the work is polished, a poem becomes like a shiny apple. Who can resist it?

You offer your deepest secrets, your most vulnerable feelings—and your reader accepts it without judgment. In that quiet exchange, something meaningful passes between two strangers: a shared experience, a quiet conspiracy of love.

While there are endless technicalities to writing a good poem, the most important, in my opinion, is honesty. Being honest with yourself—and having the courage to flaunt that honesty is the hardest part of writing.

It took me ten years to write these pieces. In the last few months, I sifted through my poetry book and chose the ones that stayed with me, and polished them for appeal. The poems in this collection come straight from my heart. They are, I hope you’ll agree, almost raw in their honesty.

I hope you find a piece that resonates with you. And if you do, I invite you to take a bite.

So if you’re ready, grab your coffee, crack open a beer, or pour yourself a glass of wine—and pour into your favorite book of poems.

Happy 4th of July weekend!

Poetry for the Ones Who Say They Don’t Like Poetry

Poetry exists everywhere:
in the cracked teacup,
weary from use.
In the lingering pauses
between strangers
on a midnight train.

It waits patiently—
like pressed flowers
in a forgotten book,
and clings to old windowpanes
long after the rain.

It’s in a newborn’s first cry,
and in the flurry of birds
slicing the sky
like jets
on the Fourth of July.

Whoever says,
“I don’t like poetry,”
has never truly listened—
not to the random sounds
that become words,
that become language,
that turned grunts into names,
and names into meaning.

He’s never been undone
by a mother’s eyes,
brimming
with an ocean of love.

Never paused to admire
old lovers holding hands,
holding canes,
crossing the road of life
with slow, sacred steps.

And if he’s truly never seen
or felt any of that—
then he hasn’t lived.
And he certainly hasn’t loved.

Pity the man
who has neither lived
nor loved.
For if he had,
he’d never say,
“I don’t like poetry.”

So, what’s going on?

So… It’s Been a While (Like, a Decade-While)

Hey friends, strangers, and ghosts of the internet past —

So I’ve been slightly inactive on WordPress.
And by slightly, I mean… almost 10 years of radio silence; some minor changes like having a baby, work, publishing a book etc etc. minor roadblocks, nothing earth shattering!

Once upon a time, we had a sweet little community going.
There were posts-a-day, pictures-a-day, and even a few features on Discover — back when that was like the WordPress version of winning the poetry Olympics.

Now I’m back, blinking into the sunlight, brushing off the blog dust, and wondering…

What’s the local scene like around these parts now?
Who’s still blogging? Who’s lurking? Who’s writing poems in the margins of their life and snapping cool photos.

If you’re reading this and still alive on WordPress — drop a comment, say hello, or link me to your recent work. I’d genuinely love to reconnect, resubscribe, and rebuild.

Let’s find out what a decade-later comeback looks like?
I come bearing poems and existential ramblings. You in?

Neha Jain

An incredible woman

My mother is one of the most incredible women I’ve ever known. Even when I was a child, she was always there—not just for me, but for everyone in her life, no matter the cost. I’ve watched her give so much without expecting anything in return, often going unthanked by the very people she helped. Kindness isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t always come back to you—but watching her has taught me it’s still the better choice. Sometimes, being incredible means having the courage to stand alone, to do what’s right even when it’s hard, and to keep going—no matter what the world says.

Who’s that amazing person in your life? I’d love to hear your story.

The Canyon

Want a Free Copy of My Book?
I’m sharing a free PDF of my poetry collection Naked as a Maple Tree with anyone who loves poetry and wants to read something honest, heartfelt, and a little nostalgic. If you’d like a copy, just drop me a note through the contact form. And if you feel inspired to leave an honest review on my kdp book page, I’d deeply appreciate it. Thank you for supporting indie authors!

Stars don’t forget

It’s on the days

you feel like the only one in the universe—

when no one understands you,

and the whole world feels in on something you’re not—

Look up.

There are stars still hanging in the sky.

Millions of them.

And not one has forgotten

how to shine for you.

Free Book Alert — Ends Tonight!

Dear all,
Today is the last day of my book promotion — it’s available for free download until midnight!
I’m deeply grateful for all the support, and a heartfelt thank you to all my WordPress community who took the time to read it and share their honest feedback. Your encouragement means the world to me.

Grab your free ebook here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F92Y8BKY

Naked as a Maple Tree

I recently launched my debut poetry collection, Naked as a Maple Tree, which honors the quiet beauty of everyday life. More importantly, these poems invite you to pause and reflect on simplicity amid the everyday banality we all experience. They gently peel back the layers we unknowingly wear in our bids to please everyone but ourselves.

I’ve chosen my favorite 20 tender and true poems for this anthology, each accompanied by hand-drawn illustrations that capture the emotional heart of the collection. This book is a keepsake — intimate, honest, and deeply human.

Perfect for anyone who has ever felt too much or laughed through tears, Naked as a Maple Tree is a book to sit with, return to, and gently pour yourself into.

Right now, I’m running a promotion, and the book is available for free for a limited time on Amazon. So grab your free copy here.

Please do leave your honest reviews if you do get a chance to read.

Announcing my Book Launch

Fifteen years ago, I started this little corner of the internet to share poems, musings, and moments that felt too full to keep inside. It was never about an audience — just a need to put words to the odd magic of everyday life.

Today, I’m thrilled (and slightly terrified!) to announce that this blog, this journal — has grown into a book.

✨ Naked as a Maple Tree is my debut poetry collection.
It brings together 20 of my most personal poems — polished, reshaped, and stitched together from entries that first found life right here. These poems celebrate the quiet, stubborn beauty of ordinary moments — full of memory, mischief, and the ache of letting go.

These poems explore everything from childhood corners to burnt toast, heartbreaks to inherited silences. Some spicy truths made it in, too — because why not?

The collection is also accompanied by hand-drawn illustrations that echo the emotional heart of the poems, making this book not just something to read but something to sit with, pour into!

If you’ve ever felt too much, outgrown places, or laughed through tears — this one’s for you.

The book launches on the 23rd of May.

Thank you for reading, commenting, and silently witnessing all these years. I truly wrote this book with you in mind. If you would like to support me, please head over to my book page. I would be flattered if you do!

With gratitude,
Neha

Link to my Amazon Book: https://rb.gy/r9rhoo

Back Cover

5 Simple Strategies to Grow Your Wealth

Money Matters: 5 Smart Strategies to Grow Your Wealth

Everyone wants to save more and stress less about money, but it’s easier said than done. Whether you’re planning for a comfortable retirement, paying down debt, or just hoping to build some savings, creating a financial strategy is the key to making your money work for you.

The truth is that, with a few core strategies, anyone can boost their financial health over time. Here are five tried-and-true ways to get on the road to financial freedom—without sacrificing your peace of mind.

1. Invest in a 401(k) or Roth IRA for Long-Term Growth

If you’re not already contributing to a 401(k) or Roth IRA, it’s time to start. These retirement accounts are like a secret weapon for building wealth over time. For example, a 401(k) plan allows you to save money pre-tax, meaning your contributions reduce your taxable income each year. Many employers offer matching contributions, meaning that if you contribute a certain percentage of your salary, your employer will match that amount—free money! If you have been investing in your 401K religiously, good job you!

Let’s look at some numbers. If you start with $5,000 in a 401(k) and contribute $500 per month with an average annual return of 7%, that investment could grow to around $1 million after 40 years. Even if retirement seems far off, this kind of compound growth means starting early is one of the smartest moves you can make.

A Roth IRA, on the other hand, offers tax-free withdrawals in retirement since contributions are made with after-tax dollars. For example, contributing $6,000 annually to a Roth IRA with a 7% return could grow to over $600,000 in 30 years. The sooner you begin, the more time you’ll give your money to grow tax-free.

2. Keep Debt to a Minimum

Debt, especially high-interest debt like credit card balances, can significantly impact your financial health. Americans, on average, have over $5,000 in credit card debt, often paying interest rates above 16%. Paying this off quickly is essential to keeping more of your income in your pocket and available to invest.

Focus on eliminating high-interest debt first. The “snowball” method, where you pay off the smallest debt balance first and then tackle the next one, can also be effective if you’re motivated by seeing faster results. Minimizing debt now frees up your money for investments and future financial security.

3. Automate Your Payments for Better Financial Health

This sounds simple enough, yet how many of us keep forgetting to do that. Setting up automated payments on all your accounts can be a game-changer for both organization and savings. Automated payments prevent late fees and potential dings on your credit report. According to the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, 20% of Americans have missed a payment in the last year, often leading to penalty fees that add up quickly.

By automating payments, you’re ensuring you don’t incur any unnecessary fees.

4. Take Advantage of an FSA or HSA

If your employer offers a Flexible Spending Account (FSA) or a Health Savings Account (HSA), these are excellent tools for saving on healthcare costs. Both accounts allow you to set aside pre-tax dollars for medical expenses, which can save you hundreds or even thousands on taxes each year.

An HSA, in particular, is one of the most powerful tools available. If you have a high-deductible health plan, contributions to an HSA are tax-deductible, the balance grows tax-free, and qualified medical expenses can be paid tax-free as well. Plus, unused funds roll over each year, meaning you can continue building this account over time. In retirement, you can even withdraw funds for non-medical expenses (though non-qualified withdrawals will incur income tax).

These accounts are a triple tax advantage: tax-deductible contributions, tax-free growth, and tax-free withdrawals for qualified expenses. They can be a smart way to save money and prepare for future healthcare needs.

5. Invest in Your Education or Skills

I know this one sounds counter intuitive as you have to spend more money up front to get a new skill or certification. But one of the best investments you can make is in yourself. Studies show that increasing your skill set or earning a certification can boost your income potential. According to a Georgetown University study, a certification or professional degree can increase earnings by an average of 13%.

Investing in classes, certifications, or even a new skill can give you a competitive edge in your field and make you eligible for higher-paying positions. Whether it’s a coding bootcamp, project management certification, or even public speaking courses, continuing to build your knowledge can open doors and increase your long-term earning potential.

In summary, building wealth doesn’t have to be complicated. With consistent investing in a retirement account, minimizing debt, automating payments, taking advantage of tax-advantaged health accounts, and investing in your education, you’re laying a strong foundation for financial security. Remember, the earlier you start and the more consistent you are, the more your money can work for you.

Collective Anxiety: Is anxiety a new normal for our times?

Anxiety. It’s something I feel more often these days, especially as the year winds down. When I look around, I know I’m not alone. There’s a heaviness, a collective sigh.

Nearly 1 in 5 adults report experiencing mental health issues each year – a stat that’s practically asking us to take up group therapy as a new hobby. Since 2000, rates of anxiety and depression have surged by nearly 50%, with younger generations leading the trend as modern stressors push more people toward seeking support. And yet, I try to remind myself that there’s humor and hope woven into the fabric of even the most anxious times. I thought I’d share a few reasons that seem to be stirring this modern-day anxiety cocktail – and maybe offer a laugh or two along the way.

Family Life’s Seasonal Demands
This time of year, it’s like life cranks up the volume on responsibilities. School events, family gatherings, holiday planning – the sheer number of moving parts makes my head spin. I wonder, do other parents also lie awake at night, ticking off to-do lists? Somehow, the calendar keeps shrinking, and the pressure only grows. It’s like life’s holding a stopwatch and saying, “You’re behind!” I’ve learned to laugh at the absurdity of it all. We’re all human, doing the best we can.

Economic Uncertainty and AI’s Rise
Ah, the economy. Just the word can send a jolt of stress through the system. Housing prices skyrocket, inflation wobbles like a tightrope walker, and we’re left asking, “What does the future hold?” Add artificial intelligence to the mix, and suddenly, everything feels even murkier. Will AI take our jobs or save them? The uncertainty can be daunting. But I’ve noticed something: we’re all quietly adapting, asking tough questions, and sharing ideas. And that, I think, is a powerful thing.

The Political Landscape
Political news is… a lot these days. Maybe that’s an understatement. From heated debates to policy changes, the tension is palpable. Sometimes I catch myself shaking my head, wondering how we got here. And yet, I also see people becoming more engaged, determined to make a difference. It’s heartening to know that I’m not the only one caring deeply, even if I feel anxious about the path we’re on.

Global Warming and the Planet’s Future
Climate anxiety is real. It’s hard not to feel the weight of it when I hear about wildfires, hurricanes, melting glaciers. I want a safe, thriving world for the next generation, and the uncertainty is difficult. But I also see incredible people out there making a change. Scientists, activists, everyday folks choosing eco-friendly options. It reminds me that small actions matter, and there’s a bit of hope mixed in with the worry.

Living with Anxiety – And Laughing Anyway
Yes, these are heavy times. And yes, there’s a lot to worry about. But there’s also a strength in knowing that I’m not facing this alone. We’re all anxious about something, and yet here we are – talking, laughing, doing what we can. I’ve found that some days, a little humor goes a long way. A wry laugh with a friend or a quiet moment to appreciate the absurdity of it all reminds me: we’re in this together.

Maybe that’s the real secret. Anxiety may linger, but so does hope. So does community. Distrust may be palpable, but love triumphs. We’re all living through challenging times, but together, we’re braver than we think. Perhaps more than ever, we need to look out for each other, offer a caring word, a helping hand, and remind one another that we’re not alone.

5 Reasons You’re Feeling Overwhelmed (and what you can do about it now)!

Feeling overwhelmed is more than just a personal struggle—it’s something many are grappling with, especially with today’s political and economic rollercoaster. Stress is at an all-time high, and whether it’s inflation, never-ending notifications, or uncertainty about the future, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel this way. Here’s why you might be feeling overwhelmed:

Financial Stress: Let’s face it, with rising inflation and economic instability, it feels like the price of everything is soaring while our paychecks barely stretch. Whether it’s keeping up with bills, groceries, or gas, it’s no wonder money worries are a top reason for sleepless nights. It’s okay to be stressed when it seems like your bank account is stuck in the same cycle.
Digital Overload: If you’re like me, you probably feel tethered to your phone or computer, with work emails, news alerts, and social media pinging constantly. The constant barrage of information is mentally draining, and this digital “always-on” culture has made it harder than ever to disconnect. Remember, it’s okay to log off—give your brain a break!
Work Burnout: We’ve all felt like the hamster on the wheel, especially with today’s blurred lines between work and home. Deadlines, excessive workloads, and constant pressure are taking a toll. When it feels like there’s no escape, it’s no wonder burnout is becoming a national crisis.
Family and Life Responsibilities: Juggling kids, relationships, health, and everything in between can feel like running a marathon with no finish line. And with the state of the world, it’s even more difficult to manage. It’s okay to admit you’re overwhelmed and to ask for help—nobody has to carry it all alone.
Uncertainty About the Future: Whether it’s worrying about job security, global events, or just not knowing what’s next, the unpredictability of life can be anxiety-inducing. The world feels more unpredictable than ever, and that uncertainty can weigh heavy. But remember, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to not have all the answers right now.

Why It’s Okay to Feel This Way
With the state of the economy, politics, and the personal pressures we face every day, feeling overwhelmed is almost expected. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step to managing them. Take a breath—it’s okay to not be okay.

Mindfulness and meditation might sound like the magic bullet for stress, but let’s be real—it’s no walk in the park. Building a consistent meditation practice can be tough. You won’t magically float into zen after day one, and sitting still with your thoughts is harder than it seems. But here’s the thing: once you push through the initial mental chaos, it’s totally worth it. Over time, you’ll train your mind to stop spiraling, handle stress better, and find calm in the chaos. It’s like a mental workout—hard at first, but the long-term results are pure gold. Stick with it, and your future self will thank you!

And hey, if you’ve got a secret stress-busting tip or method, I’d love to hear it! Let’s swap ideas—because we’re all in this together.

Discover the Huntington Library: A Family Day Trip

Are you searching for the perfect blend of history, art, and nature? Here is an idea. It’s close enough to Los Angeles for a day trip. Yet, it’s far enough to feel like a scenic escape. The Huntington Library, Art Museum, and Botanical Gardens in San Marino is your ideal destination. This hidden gem offers a mix of fascinating culture and peaceful gardens that makes it a top pick for a fun and educational family outing.

The Huntington Library has an impressive backstory. Henry E. Huntington, the man behind it all, didn’t just collect rare books—he built an entire world around them. His library holds treasures like a Gutenberg Bible and early Shakespeare works, so if your kids think libraries are boring, they’ll be wowed by the fact that these books helped shape history! And don’t forget the mansion-turned-art-museum, home to The Blue Boy, a painting so iconic it practically has its own fan club. (Rumor has it Mrs. Huntington even had a dress made to match it.)

But what really makes this place shine for families are the botanical gardens. With over a dozen themed gardens, there’s something for everyone. Imagine wandering through a peaceful Japanese Garden with koi ponds, crossing ornate bridges, or exploring the Chinese Garden, where you can take in serene views and colorful pavilions. The adventurous will love the Desert Garden, where giant cacti and alien-like plants make you feel like you’ve stepped onto another planet. Kids will get a kick out of running between the towering succulents and prickly pears.

And, get this—back in the day, scientific legends like Albert Einstein were invited to stroll these same gardens. If you want to subtly introduce your kids to the idea that nature and knowledge go hand-in-hand, this is the place to do it.

From “The Wedding Planner” (2001) to “Indecent Proposal” (1993), “The Nutty Professor” (1996), and action-filled “Charlie’s Angels” (2000), all the way to Chris Farley’s antics in “Beverly Hills Ninja” (1997), the Huntington Library’s stunning gardens have starred in some Hollywood favorites!

When planning your visit, expect to spend 3 to 5 hours to fully enjoy everything the Huntington has to offer, especially if you want to take breaks at the cafés or let the kids run around in the Children’s Garden. Pro tip: Book your tickets online in advance to skip the line!

Have you been to the Huntington before? What’s your favorite part? If you’re planning a visit soon, let us know in the comments! Share your stories or ask any questions—we’d love to hear from you!

The Skinny on Collagen Banking: Why You Need to Start Now

5 Ways You Should Be Collagen Banking Right Now (and Why It’s Never Too Early or Too Late)

You’ve probably heard the buzz around collagen banking, but what does it mean?

Simply put, collagen banking is the idea of boosting your body’s collagen reserves early on to maintain youthful skin, joints, and overall health for longer. Collagen is a structural protein that gives your skin elasticity, strengthens bones, and keeps your joints flexible. However, we naturally lose collagen as we age, with factors like UV exposure, pollution, and even stress speeding up that decline.

The good news? You can start “banking” collagen at any age—whether you’re in your 20s, 40s, or beyond! Here’s why you should start now, turbocharged with five effective ways to do it.

Why Do We Lose Collagen?

Starting in our mid-20s, our collagen production drops by about 1% each year. By the time we’re in our 30s and 40s, external factors like sun exposure, poor diet, smoking, and even stress cause collagen breakdown to accelerate. This results in wrinkles, joint stiffness, and less skin elasticity.

5 Ways to Turbocharge Your Collagen Banking

Eat Collagen-Boosting Foods
Foods rich in vitamin C, zinc, and amino acids help your body naturally produce more collagen. Think citrus fruits, bone broth, and leafy greens—these are the gold mines for your collagen savings account!
Use Topical Retinoids
Retinoids stimulate collagen production by speeding up cell turnover and reducing wrinkles. Incorporate a high-quality retinoid or retinol cream into your skincare routine to give your skin a collagen kickstart.
Add Collagen Supplements
Hydrolyzed collagen supplements are proven to boost skin elasticity and hydration while reducing wrinkles. It’s like a fast deposit to your collagen bank, keeping your skin plump from the inside out!
- Disclaimer: While collagen supplements are widely promoted by celebrities and experts alike, it’s important to note that some research still questions their effectiveness. Further studies are needed to fully confirm their long-term benefits.
Prioritize Sun Protection
Sunscreen is your skin’s best friend! UV rays are one of the biggest collagen destroyers, so wearing SPF daily can protect and preserve your collagen levels for the long haul.
Try Collagen-Boosting Treatments
Consider professional treatments like microneedling, laser therapy, or radiofrequency. These methods can help stimulate collagen production under the skin’s surface. They add a hefty deposit to your collagen reserves. Also having an excellent skin care hygiene and DIY treatments help!

It’s Never Too Early—or Too Late

Whether you’re trying to prevent collagen loss in your 20s or reverse its effects later in life, collagen banking is for everyone. Start today, and future you will thank you for it! Even older individuals can benefit from collagen supplements because the skin is remarkably responsive to improvements in collagen levels. As we age, the body produces less collagen, leading to visible signs of aging like wrinkles and sagging skin. However, the skin still has a natural ability to regenerate. The skin’s turnover process continues throughout life. Therefore, older and younger adults can experience noticeable results from collagen supplementation.

Even though some might argue that the jury is out on collagen, I’m a huge fan of keeping my routine simple yet effective. My personal favorite? Morning green smoothies! I whip up a blend of green apples, blueberries, strawberries, and mixed greens, topped off with a dollop of yogurt and a splash of coconut water. Oh, and here’s the kicker: I sneak in a scoop of Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides into my smoothie (and yes, into my coffee too!). I firmly believe that these small actions go a long way—just like my daily goal of 7,000 steps. It may not be marathon training, but it definitely keeps me feeling on top of my game!

Or, if you’ve got a favorite wellness habit of your own, I’d love to hear about it! Your skin, joints, and morning energy will definitely thank you for it! Let’s share and keep the good vibes going!

5 Ways Nature Can Transform Your Mental Health

Why Getting Outside in Nature is the Ultimate Mood Booster

Feeling a bit drained or stuck in a routine? One of the best ways to shake off the stress is to step outside and let nature work its magic! Here’s why spending time outdoors isn’t just good for your body, but also your soul—and why it’ll leave you feeling like a new person (or at least one who smiles more often!):

Fresh Air = Fresh Mind: Ever notice how a deep breath of fresh air makes everything feel just a little bit better? That’s because it clears your mind like nothing else. It’s like hitting a mental “refresh” button—no Wi-Fi needed!
Nature’s Vitamin D Party: Sunshine does wonders for your mood. It’s like nature’s free happy pill! Spend some time in the sun, and you’ll be glowing (figuratively and literally) from all that vitamin D goodness.
Goodbye, Stress—Hello, Trees! Just being around trees, flowers, or even a patch of grass can lower your stress levels. The best part? You don’t have to do much—just sit back, enjoy the view, and let the greenery do its calming thing.
Adventure is Everywhere: Whether you’re hiking a mountain or just wandering through a park, nature is full of surprises. Maybe you’ll spot a cool bird, stumble upon a hidden trail, or—who knows—finally discover how to relax without your phone!
It’s Free Therapy! Let’s face it: Nature listens. Got something on your mind? Tell it to the trees! They won’t interrupt, judge, or charge you by the hour. Sometimes, all you need is a good walk and some quiet time to get a fresh perspective.

So, next time life feels a bit overwhelming, skip the couch and head outside. Nature is waiting to boost your mood, brighten your day, and remind you that the best things in life really are free!

The Journey

The Witch

Hello,

I am sharing one of my own favorite poems. The world can be a difficult place for even the mighty, but sometimes women get the worst of it, as they are the least understood. This poem is about a little girl who loses her father in her early childhood and grows up to love nature and mother earth. Because she is so different from people and she has magical healing powers, people grow to fear her. Even the kindly magistrate is unable to help her for fear of being ostracized and orders her to be burned alive. But when humans commit an act so unfair then mother nature herself rises for revenge.

UBeCute

History is testimony to the atrocities that have been meted out unjustly to the poor and weak in society. Women have unfortunately gotten the worst of the deal. While it is important to look forward and be proud of the accomplishment women have achieved thus far, it is equally important to look back and pay heed to history. For history repeats itself. Unfortunately, women have been burnt under the guise of religion, ritual and faith around the world in distant and recent past.

This poem is written in 3 parts and is loosely based on the Witch trials that took place in colonial Massachusetts between February 1692 and 1693, famously known as the Salem Witch trials. I decided to add Prequel and a Sequel to my exisiting poem called “The Witch”, since I thought it was imperative to end my poem on a positive note and show, that no matter how monstrous an…

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Go Go Goa

One of my favorite posts. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it…

UBeCute

Goa’s 63 mile long coastline offers a long expanse of exotic beaches. The water is always lukewarm and the sand is soft to touch. The beach is studded with tiny sea shells and starfish. I found it best to enjoy the beaches early in the morning at dawn or around sunset because during the day time the heat is almost unbearable.

The beach is studded with shacks offering visitors both North Indian and South Indian cuisine as well as plenty of seafood.

Unless you are staying at one of five star hotels don’t expect to find the shacks to be glamorous. Personally I loved their rustic beauty. I was never disappointed with the food and the amazing scenery for pennies on the dollar.

A local shack

A vendor at the local supermarket

Bananas sweet as sugar

I enjoyed going to the local market with my dad and we bought a variety…

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Six by Six

I love portrait photography and find Black & White photography (when done well) to be especially hauntingly intriguing. These portraits are excellent work by Phil Kneen. I especially love the portrait of the woman curled up in her bed looking outside. Enjoy!

You Asked For it! Real Time Watercolor Portrait Lesson!

Here is a beautiful article from the Frugal crafter blog. I have taken her classes which are super easy to follow and fun.

The Frugal Crafter Blog

Hi friends! I always get a bit nervous when I post a tutorial that is over an hour-long on YouTube. People say they want in-depth lessons but people also see the length and don’t want to commit that amount of time to watch. I get it. I don’t get the dislikes on the video but that’s YouTube trolls for you, or maybe it is people saying that it’s too long. However I also got many requests on my Sketchbook Sunday time-lapse portrait for a real-time lesson so I decided to make a portrait painting that you can follow along with in real-time. It was longer than I wanted it to be but I think it is easy to follow. I truly hope you like it.

So if you were among the folks asking for a real-time portrait I hope you will try it.

Supplies (affiliate links may be used)

Watercolors…

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How to become successful: One simple exercise that can change your life

There are a countless books and articles on the topic of success and what it takes to become successful. You have scoured a few or perhaps you are one of those over-achievers who has zealously studied them all? That is quite impressive! But here you are looking for yet another secret to success? Could there be a little gem hiding here that which has dodged you everywhere else?

I don’t know where you are in your life. Perhaps you are waiting for divine inspiration that will get you off your couch and into the gym so you can stick it to your ex, or get you off your mediocre job to living the life of your dreams so you can stick it to your pompous boss? Perhaps you are just waiting for summertime, so you can grow your perfect garden, so you can stick it to your neighbor? Whatever the case may be and whomever you may be wanting to stick it to, if you are one of those people who are “waiting” to do something then chances are you will be waiting a long time.

Yea, you heard me! This article is not meant to be another pep talk that may get you motivated enough to get you off your couch for a day only to be back in it for a year. I am not here to tell you that you deserve to be successful because you are such a changeling and because you deserve better. I don’t know you and I have no idea what you deserve. But if you are one of those people who thinks you deserve something because you are special or because “mum said so”, well then you need to grow up. Nothing about life is fair or given just because you or someone thinks so. Life demands hard work and sacrifice, it demands fortitude to ceaselessly plan your life only to see your plans fail repeatedly and yet have the stubbornness to do it all over again.

What’s more life comes with no user manuals, guarantees or return policies, there are no consolation trophies and absolutely no pauses or escape buttons.

I am not here to give you any secret to success. I am here to tell you that success is not a secret. Or at least it should not be to you. See every body’s concept of success should be unique and personal. Before you set out on your life’s journey to become successful, I want you to take a moment and take stock of what success means to you?

ian-schneider-66374-unsplash So, what does success mean to you? Yes you, not your aunt Thelma, or your neighbor, or your boss or your wife …but YOU! Elementary as it may sound, this is an important concept you need to understand before you waste any more precious time in this world pursuing somebody else concept of success. Too many people have wasted too much time living somebody else’s dream which is why we are such an unhappy nation. If your concept of success is to get that gorgeous body, or a car that the world can envy, or a vacation with family then that’s fine. I am perfectly fine with shallow dreams. Just know that it should be your shallow dream not somebody else’s. But If you find yourself doubting what success means to you then take a road trip me with me into the future.

Imagine yourself 20, 30 or even 50 years from now, at the fag end of your life. You are on life support, breathing your last few breaths thinking back on your life. How would you like to view your life? Are you proud of the empire you have built, or happy to have contributed to society, are you satiated with the beautiful family around you there to bid you farewell? Or are you perhaps a bit regretful? Are you staring into a wrinkled face you have shared your life with and truly loved and cherished or are you looking at a stranger wishing you had called quits when you had the chance? Are you wishing you had not wasted your time on that mediocre job, or waited on that lucky break or perhaps just wishing you had spent more time with the people you loved? Now bring yourself back to today.

If there is the slightest regret in your life today, remember it will be a hundred times magnified and unforgivable at your death bed. Nobody regrets have done something and failed at it, people regret never having tried!!!

Well sorry if that was a grave exercise (pun intended). But at least you have a better idea of what success means to you now?

Do this exercise often if you need to figure out what you want to achieve and what it is you want to change in your life. So that brings us back to the million-dollar question? What is the one secret you need to know to succeed?

I wasn’t just trying to reel you in with that title you know. The answer is simple. You need to know what you truly value and cherish. What is the one motivation that every action of your life is geared towards?

Don’t have a nebulous idea of success, one that is brainwashed into your head by society, peer pressure or the numerous stream of advertisements on TV and social media. Don’t spend your entire life living somebody’s else dream no matter how precious that person may be to you.

I have an overachiever cousin who has spent years in school studying to become a surgeon while he secretly dreamed of being a banker, only to please his parents. I know of a woman in her forties who married the wrong man only to please her parents, and now is fighting a bad divorce and several health issues due to serious emotional stress at home. I also know of a man who left an ivy league school to start a small business and now is a very successful entrepreneur. Life is not easy as is, the last thing you want to do is live somebody’s else’s life.

So be clear about your dreams. Have a vision board or spend five minutes a day imagining what your perfect future will be. Perhaps you don’t mind being a bit somber and writing your own eulogy. What would your eulogy be? OK, sorry I promised no more grave exercises already!

What does any of this have with making me successful, you ask? That’s the thing. If you don’t know how to define your success, how are you ever going to get it? You may have everything in the world that anybody can ever dream of but in your heart, you will never be successful if what you achieved was somebody else’s success not yours.

Once you know what your idea of success means, everything else falls into place. Ignited by the fire of your true passion, following your dreams becomes easier. I said easier not easy. You still need to pursue your dreams like a warrior. It does not matter how brawny or brainy you are, as long as you truly know what it is that motivates you, you will find way to success and everlasting happiness.

Photo by Nghia Le on Unsplash

Love Poetry: Monday Challenge

When you think of love poetry you think of young men and women spinning yarns of exaggerated verse such as “your face is more beautiful than the rising sun” and “your presence lightens the day and incites birds to mate” …well…you get the drift, right?

But such is the stuff of poetry that makes poets more feared than their fanged brethren: Vampires! Reading corny poetry like that out in public is perhaps the surest way to lose friends fast and die sad and lonely. And yes you are right…I should know!!!

Truth be told, writing love poems is the hardest kind of poetry. Its is so easy to exaggerate your emotions or drop an unnecessary rhyme or a cliche like “she smells like a rose”…shudder! If at all you use cliches then make them deliberate to make a point like Carol in her poem Valentine.

Juliet and Romeo syndrome

My best advise would be to stay clear from the “Juliet and Romeo” syndrome. While Juliet and Romeo was an exemplary play in its time, centuries later it is a bit of a “been there and done that” and might I add, a bit out of date. So try and get out of the “Juliet and Romeo” mold. Instead chose a more realistic 21st century setting and if you can introduce a 21st century problem then you got our ears.

Also try not to take yourself or your love interest too seriously. Avoid trite settings where your love interest is leaving you to die in gumption mourning her loss. Its so *yawningly* played out.

Can you describe your love without using commonplace words such as, “love”, “beautiful”, “lovely”, “heart”, names of flowers and birds, and celestial objects such as the Moon and The Sun?

If so, then go ahead write a love poem and make us truly connect with your emotions. If you do, feel free to link to my post or send me your poem in the comments section with your name and blog so I may give you the deserved credit. Here are a few to inspire you:

Valentine

by Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart.
I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

A Glimpse

By Walt Whitman

A glimpse through an interstice caught,
Of a crowd of workmen and drivers in a bar-room around the stove late of a winter night, and I unremark’d seated in a corner,
Of a youth who loves me and whom I love, silently approaching and seating himself near, that he may hold me by the hand,
A long while amid the noises of coming and going, of drinking and oath and smutty jest,
There we two, content, happy in being together, speaking little, perhaps not a word.

Spider

Spider

Eight symmetrical legs spin up a silken web,

With the dexterity of a pianist striking his keys,

back and forth and back and forth,

On the black and white keys

Weaving a breathless crescendo of perfect notes

While the audience watch in enthralled silence

until he stops.

And sits back as if to catch a breath,

And a thousand sighs escape their human chests.

Then the pianist leans back in and strikes his final note,

Just as the spider dances back and forth and back and forth,

on its Silver web lassoing its hapless prey with its sticky hooks.

A short struggle rises and then wanes as its hapless prey ceases to flutter

A thousand people rise in standing ovation.

Monday Challenge: Beguiling Poetry

Monday Challenge: Eating Poetry

When it comes to poetry its just not enough to read poetry. Poetry is far more visceral than that. To really enjoy poetry you need to eat, drink and breathe poetry and then maybe…just maybe you can capture its true essence. Nobody explains this better than Mark Strand in his Poem, “Eating Poetry”.

I love this poem by Mark Strand for so many reasons, most profound of which is the dark imagery it renders. The first line hooks you right away with its “Ink runs from the corners of my mouth” opening sentence. You cannot help but want to know of this person who is consuming enough poetry that its starting to bleed from his mouth…ink and all. Right from the opening line surreal images just leap out from his words into your mind. Within a few short sentences you are transported into the dimly lit library where the “poems are gone”. You can now see what has scared the librarian enough to cause her to “stamp her feet and weep”. The man has consumed so much poetry that he turns into a dog, a joyful one at that, “I romp with joy in the bookish dark.”. His joy is in sharp contrast to the sad and petrified librarian who does not understand what is going on perhaps because she has not yet enjoyed the taste of poetry.

For your challenge today, I ask you to take your own deepest emotions about poetry and turn them into something surreal. Don’t just rhyme or verse, paint me a picture throbbing with vivid imagery. Hook me in with your best hypnotic metaphors. Still unsure how to start, write a snippet of a story that is so surreal, it leaves one panting for more. Feel free to publish the poem on your blog and pingback to ubecute or just copy and paste your poem with your name and blog details in the comments section. Let the creative juices flow…

Eating Poetry

By Mark Strand

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.

There is no happiness like mine.

I have been eating poetry.

The librarian does not believe what she sees.

Her eyes are sad

and she walks with her hands in her dress.

The poems are gone.

The light is dim.

The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up.

Their eyeballs roll,

their blond legs burn like brush.

The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep.

She does not understand.

When I get on my knees and lick her hand,

she screams.

I am a new man.

I snarl at her and bark.

I romp with joy in the bookish dark.

In case you are curious about what Ubecute has to say about poetry check out this poem written a few years ago.

Monday Challenge: Beguiling Poetry

Poems are beguiling works of art. Good poets will never write that they were sad and cried buckets or were happy and skipped their way to work. For instance take a look at this second stanza (by Algernon Charles Swinburne describing “sorrow”).

“One thought lies close in her heart gnawn thorough
With pain, a weed in a dried-up river,
A rust-red share in an empty furrow.”

He never uses the word sorrow or tears and yet makes you connect with the character in his poem immediately. You can feel her pain and partake in the sleeplessness of the night. Poets rarely talk about things as they are because they use the power of a metaphor to ignite the human imagination and paint a crafty picture of intrigue.

For today’s challenge use a metaphor to describe your true emotions. For this challenge look at your room and take note of any thing that stands out: book shelf, painting, book, cell phone and use a metaphor to describe it. Keep describing it with a metaphor until you think you have painted a perfect picture of the object you are talking about. For e.g. the pen is like an arrow that bleeds its blue blood, or your dirty socks are like dark caves that lead to nowhere. Let nothing stop you, no matter how unbelievable it sounds. You can always take a second or third pass at your poem to make some final much needed edits, but for now let your imagination flow. If you do participate send me your poem with your full name in the comments below or pingback to me using the “Edit/Link icon” in your own post.

To get your creative juices flowing I am sharing a poem by Ted Kooser one of my favorite poets.

A box of Pastels
Continue reading “Monday Challenge: Beguiling Poetry” →

Monday Poetry Challenge

Writing poetry is more than a combination of art and science. It takes a lot of insight and a fair amount of practice. Poetry requires the ability to reflect on mundane objects, things, animals or incidents and turn it into an introspective observation that is unique. Good poetry will make you want to think and draw your own conclusion. Good poetry is timeless, people can reflect on it for ages and derive insight or inspiration. I am therefore starting a weekly challenge to coax you into writing or reading poetry that you love.

Each week I will share a theme and some examples to inspire and titillate your creative instincts. Send me your poem in the comments section or write it in your blog and pingback to me.

This week I visited the Aquarium in Long Beach with my daughter. My two year old daughter was absolutely mesmerized with the musical movement of fish underwater. That is the beauty of fish, it can neither talk nor hear you, yet it leaves you mesmerized with its movement. So for this week’s challenge I encourage you to write a poem about a fish, it need not be titled “Fish” but try to include some reference to one. If you would rather not author a poem, then feel free to share your own analysis on any poem about a fish.

Take for instance this poem by William Butler Yeats. Even though the poem is titled “The Fish” and it starts off by talking about the sinuous movement of a fish within “the ebb and flow” of the tide, the poem is not about the fish at all. The fish is an analogy to a person who was perhaps “hard and unkind” or was perceived as such by people. Or perhaps it isn’t about a person at all instead the Fish is referencing the judgmental nature of people or society, who will criticize even the most instinctive behavior of a person.

The Fish

By William Butler Yeats

Although you hide in the ebb and flow

Of the pale tide when the moon has set,

The people of coming days will know

About the casting out of my net,

And how you have leaped times out of mind

Over the little silver cords,

And think that you were hard and unkind,

And blame you with many bitter words.

All-time favorites

It has been a while since I was active on wordpress, just as it has been a while since I wrote a poem, or spared a moment doing the soulful things that make me happy. It is amazing to think I have now been on wordpress for over four years! And look how time has flown by…much as it always does. It makes you realize the importance of preserving special moments with photographs and reliving those moments again…even if slightly altered in your memory.

Here is a collection of some of my favorite pictures over the past four years. Don’t tell me you cannot find a couple nice treasures here, even if I am no photographer! Enjoy!

I love pictures of everyday simple things. Beauty lies in things we tend to overlook so easily…and we are the losers for it. I love the spindly canopy of this coconut tree and the sky peering from its foliage.

I love the icy perfection of winter captured in this photo taken by a friend Viraj Thakur.

Isn’t this picture of Walden ponds in Massachusetts, simply beautiful? I mean just look at the vibrant colors. I can’t help but feel a kinship to Henry David Thoreau by being able to enjoy what he grew to love and enjoy so much. I am not comparing myself to Thoreau that would be tall order…just saying that I feel blessed enjoying the same sights he probably once did!

My husband and I had stopped by a random coffee shop one morning on our long walks. We were young, happy and carefree and the picture reminds me of those days.

And how can you live in Los Angeles and not have a few favorite pictures of the beach?

I know people find graffiti ugly and disfiguring, but I actually dig it. I see it as just another form of art. Take these beautiful photos for instance. What’s not to like?

Aah beautiful Sedona. Nothing screams peace, perfection and grandeur like Sedona! I wish I could live here.

So that’s it folks. Feel free to pingback with your favorite photos or articles. I am dying to see what you got!

Evanescent

Life is full of beautiful people and things that come and fade out of life. Some of them are barely perceptible because we are not used to admiring that which is in plain sight and easily available. I love going for long walks with my dog and taking pictures of evanescent objects. Some are harder to capture in a camera like the chirping of birds, the crispness of a sunny day, smell of barbecue, the laughter of children. But other things are easier to capture and preserve with camera.

Here is an attempt to capture that which is evanescent yet not lost.

IMG_0238 (1) — An old house turned into an office

IMG_0226 (1) — Sunlight playing peek-a-boo through the thick trees

Look closer there are turtles soaking in sun

What happens when you do a 10 day TV Detox?

You have heard of people doing a detox when they are feeling sluggish? But have you heard of anyone doing a TV detox? That is just the kind of detox I undertook recently. Read on if you want to learn more about my 10 day TV detox and what it did for me.

I recently decided to cut out TV, youtube and unnecessary online surfing. I allowed myself everything else including reading books, blogging, listening to the radio etc. The reason I wanted to do a TV detox was because I was becoming a bit of a TV junkie. On my weekends I would plop myself on the couch and go on a TV binge starting at noon. On weekdays I would start TV right after dinner and continue until after midnight. The lack of sleep was contributing to dark circles the size of Antarctica. My wake up call was when a well meaning friend inquired if I was well since I was beginning to look “a bit haggard”. That was the last straw, I decided I needed an intervention.

I have previously resolved doing a TV detox but have never been successful beyond day one. This time however I was determined not to get distracted. I created a list of things to occupy my mind with during my free time. The list including fun activities such as baking cake, cooking, painting, writing a poem or rewiring an old one, getting a facial and even enjoying a bubble bath. Who needs TV to have fun? If my mind ever craved TV I would confidently pull out my list of fun activities and flash it around like a victory flag.

Day one, was the hardest. I frequently found my feet mindlessly carrying me over to the couch: my TV pit. I thought it was best to go out for a long walk and avoid the temptation completely. On the way back I stopped by at Ralph’s and picked up some fresh fruit and decided to have a sweet potato and fruit salad for dinner with a cup of mint tea.

Day two and three fell on the weekend which were super hard. Normally when I am done with home chores, I love to plunge on the couch and binge. I love catching up on HBO shows or pay per view movies. But now I almost did not know what to do. So I did an hour of yoga and then cooked up a storm. Lunch included sauteed fresh vegetables with home cooked basil sauce over a bed of black rice. Later I went out for a refreshing walk and came back to clean up the pantry, kitchen cabinets and my wardrobe. The next day I decided to do a load of laundry and ironing. It was only day three, and I was already feeling quite accomplished.

Day four, I decided to do a bit of meditation and deep breathing. Even though I could not focus my mind too long, I must say, it felt good. Note to self: “Must continue deep breathing and meditation at least once a week”.

Day five, I was already feeling so much better. My eyes felt more relaxed and my dark circles were doing a vanishing act. Since I was feeling so good about myself, I decided to OD on TLC. I decided to give myself a long relaxing facial. I started with deep cleaning, then facial massage and pore extraction and ended with a cooling face mask with an eye compress. The result may not have been life changing but I looked squeaky clean like a freshly plucked tomato.

Day six, I went back to writing. I dug out some semi finished poems and rewrote them. I even published a shiny new post.

By Day seven TV detox had already become a habit. I no longer craved the idiot box. There was so much to occupy my mind with. I went for a leisurely walk, took plenty of pictures came back to cook and enjoy a peaceful dinner and went to bed early. Day eight I read a book and called it a night.

Day nine and ten again fell on the weekend. This time things were so much easier. I re-potted some old house plants that were growing out of their space and painted earthen pots. I did Hatha yoga, deep breathing exercises and worked on my blog.

I cannot believe how easily I have grown out of my TV binging and how great I feel. Before I went on my detox I had created a list of things to occupy my mind with. But I never had to use the list. After day three I was on autopilot mode, I automatically knew what had to be done. I felt all along TV was never something I loved infact it was actually distracting me from the things I love to do.

I am feeling so good I am going to continue abstaining TV for a month and do a follow up post. Meanwhile if you too feel like joining me on my TV detox and would like to catapult your productivity then please join me. I welcome you to write a post about your TV detox experience, all I ask is you ping back to mine so we can spread the good word around. Happy TV detoxing!

Notorious

If someone asked you to define the word “Notorious“. How would you define it? Wait…don’t look up the dictionary.

You would most likely say, “Someone infamous, scandalous, ill-famed for notoriety”. Perhaps you will jump into explaining with examples such as Genghis Khan the conqueror, Vlad the Impaler, Jack the Ripper? How about Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Mao Tse-Tung? History is rampant with evil personalities and folk lore abounds with stories of their misdeeds.

But sometimes dark evil places, infamous for evil committed years ago can be notorious too. How about dangerous places that are either difficult to reach or so unfriendly to habitation that they invoke our awe despite their looming danger. Places like the “suicide forest” in Japan, Grand Canyon in Arizona, Valley of Death in Russia, Erte volcano in Ethiopia (gates to hell) and many more.

Now would you consider something as nebulous as “thoughts” to be notorious? But thoughts can be pretty notorious, right? Random thoughts can be rather disturbing when you need peace of mind…isn’t it? Imagine a train of negative thoughts that won’t let you be happy. How about the time you are trying to meditate and you just cannot because random thoughts won’t stop bothering you. Students will agree nothing can be more destructive than random thoughts when they are trying to focus on a lecture or taking an exam.

Yet dark places and people carry the greatest intrigue for us. Even though what can hurt us the most is not other people or dark distant places but ourselves. We alone can ruin our peace of mind and chances for success more than anything else in the world.

That puts a different perspective on things completely, doesn’t it? Now over to you, what is the first thing that comes to mind with the word notorious?

Traditions

The word tradition is peppered with the notion of religion, culture, race and diversity. Different set of people around the world have built there own set of customs and traditions. Through the ages traditions become revered, unshakable, ingrained and distinctive. But there are other simpler traditions that we all follow that were passed on to us by our parents or our grandparents. But what about habits that have become an unshakable part of our grown up lives? Could we call those habits traditions?

For instance,most of us have a morning ritual of drinking tea or coffee and devouring the morning newspaper, or exercising and so forth. I for instance have a habit of making a cup of masala tea every morning. I take the time to crush fresh ginger and mint for my tea. The aroma is absolutely delicious and the moments spent sitting and sipping it is divine. It is not merely a habit because this time is almost sacred to me. And no matter what comes my way, I always plan to leave aside a few moments to make myself the perfect tea and sip it. I know it is in no way constructive but this simple act charges me for the rest of the day.

I know of people who will wake up and perform 7 sets of Suryanamaskar (sun salutations yoga sequence). And then there are those who will snooze their alarm clocks seven times and continue to languish in bed only to get late to work. Whatever your habit may be, over the years it becomes ingrained into the very fabric of your being. Should these habits constructive or not be given the title of Traditions as well?

Aah whatever your thoughts on traditions may be, I love sipping this piping hot, delicious, crisp cup of tea. Join me in my tradition if you like with this simple recipe below.

Ginger and mint tea

1/2 thumb size piece of ginger (or use to your taste)

6 leaves of fresh mint (or use to your taste)

1 cup of water

1/4 cup of milk (2% for a creamier tea)

1 spoon black tea (I use Red label Brooke bond but you can use English breakfast or Early Grey)

Honey to taste (I use raw organic and unfiltered honey)

spiced-milk-tea-masala-chai

Street Life: Sunset Boulevard

I was saddened to learn that Mario Maglieri died today at the golden age of 94. He co-owned Rock n Roll hot spots such as The Whisky a go go, Roxy and Rainbow bar and Grill. Famous Rock bands such as The Doors, Guns N Roses, Led Zeppelin and several others started their career at The Whisky. He will be fondly remembered by thousands of Rock fans and super stars. See picture of famous Roxy Theater below.

UBeCute

Here are some pictures of West Hollywood including pictures of Chateau Marmont a hotel on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, California. Built in 1927, this hotel is famous for A-listing sightings and a curious history including the untimely death of comedian John Belushi due to drug overdose. A celebrity hideout for famous Hollywood stars such as Robert De Niro, Errol Flynn, Bob Dylan, Clark Gable, Paul Newman, John Lennon & Yoko Ono, Jim Morrison, Marilyn Monroe, Boris Karloff, Carole Lombard, Mick Jagger, Ringo Starr, Jean Harlow, Sidney Poitier, Dustin Hoffman, William Holden, Jessica Lange, Led Zepplin and many, many more. The place has a forbidding air to it that makes it ever more mysterious and interesting.

The Viper Room also located in West Hollywood California, in close proximity to the Chateau Marmont, is infamous as the place where actor River Phoenix died due to drug overdose in 1993. Like the…

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I am a nobody, I am somebody

I was recently reading a post on LinkedIn about how Beyoncé uses social media to promote her brand. She recently posted a very pregnant picture of herself on Instagram which got 9 million likes within days. The author had a congratulatory note toward Beyoncé who according to the author has used social media to create intrigue and advance her brand. All of this may well be true in Beyoncé’s case, I don’t know one way or the other, as I have not been following Beyoncé.

What I cannot help but note, is that Beyoncé is a superstar married to Jay-Z with a joint worth of over 1 billion dollars. Her own father devoted his whole life to the “Beyoncé brand”. Don’t superstars like Beyoncé and others, have enough cash floating around to hire a village worth of people to promote their brand? Then why is it so admirable when they are able to get a million likes within a few seconds of sharing a semi-nude photo on Twitter or Instagram?

Needless to say, the same goes for any other superstar be it Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Katy Perry, Kardashian sisters and the likes. Why should we be impressed when one of these extraordinarily endowed people making extraordinarily more money than the rest of the world, gets a million likes on Twitter????

Recently I was watching a 60 year old lady who looks like 30, sharing her story on You Tube. She started the video by apologizing how she is a “nobody” and yet vlogging. She just wanted to share her story so others could learn from her. Don’t get me wrong I have no personal vendetta against superstars like Beyoncé. I just think it’s tremendously more appreciable when a “nobody” in Iowa, Chicago or California takes the time and trouble to blog/vlog/tweet/instagram and gets a 1000 likes in 10 days!I think it is more important, because she probably does not have a band of people at her disposal to take that perfect shot of her, or help her draft a message that will spark intrigue. Nor is she famous enough to use her name alone to promote her post. Instead she put in some serious thought, planning and effort to make that video or post. She is a “nobody” and therefore has the power to reach other “nobodies” like her and make a difference.

Social media is truly about nobodies like us, reaching out to other nobodies sharing our stories because we know it is worth something. We may not have a million followers and perfect airbrushed bodies but we have a voice that is our own. And in that it is unique. And in that, my brand is no less unique than your brand, which is no less than Beyoncé’s brand.

In the end, I cannot help but quoting the maestro nobody herself.

I’m Nobody! Who are you?

Emily Dickinson 1830 – 1886

I’m Nobody! Who are you?

Are you – Nobody – too?

Then there’s a pair of us!

Don’t tell! they’d advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!

How public – like a Frog –

To tell one’s name – the livelong June –

To an admiring Bog!

Path

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.

Buddha

All is procession; the universe is a procession with measured and beautiful motion.

-Walt Whitman

Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Inspired by Cheri’s Photo Challenge: Path

Holiday Post Card

This is not a Holiday post card

Printed on a glossy 3.5×5 inch paper

But an ice rink resplendent

with pair ice skaters drawing circles around one another

spinning in and out of each other’s embrace

with Swiss watch precision on the cutting

edge of Lickety-split ice skates.

Or perhaps it is an indulgent recipe

For those too unversed to brew.

Look at the cursive words that spell “magic”

That may well have read

“Steep two part faith into

A piping hot mixture of joy and innocence.

Cool for 5. Enjoy while still magical”

Or perhaps it is a promise sublime

A chance for new beginnings,

An omen for good times,

Or something more reassuring

Like the friendly jingle of an ice-cream truck

Pulling into the neighborhood with a vibrant swarm of

Brightly clad children running behind.

A Holiday postcard is a lot things but rarely ever

a green and red greeting

printed on a 0.75mm thick paper

Slipped inside a pearly white womb of an envelope.

With words that spell “Wishing you a Magical Christmas”

That jingle and jangle all the way to your front door.

2016: The year hell freezes over

When I was a child my father would ask me to do this bedtime exercise. He would ask me to reflect on the events of the day and be grateful for all the good things that happened during the day. He would also ask me to reflect objectively on the events that were not so good and see if I learned a valuable lesson from them. One day I had an especially bad day at school. I had failed to complete most of my assignments and my teachers being furious with me sent me for detention. It so happened that I ended up spending my entire day in detention for something or another. That night when my father asked me what I learned from my day, I told him bitterly, that I learned that all my teachers were really bad people who were driven by no greater motive than to punish me. And that it was a good idea for me to avoid school for the rest of my life.

Decades later I am reminded once again of my father’s little exercise which holds a slightly deeper meaning now. As the year comes to an end I cannot but help apply his logic and reflect on all the good and the bad that 2016 had to offer.

On a global level, this year has been a whirlwind of events. The year started with the sobering news of the outbreak of Zika virus that resulted in 3500 cases of microcephaly between October 2015 and January 2016 alone.

March, ended with the coordinated bombings in Brussels and Belgium killing at least 32 innocent lives while injuring over 240 others. Several other planned attacks in the World (especially in Europe) followed.

In May, EgyptAir Flight 804 crashes, killing 66 people on board.

In June, the United Kingdom decides to leave the European Union shocking the world.

In August, Summer Olympics commence in Rio brightening the global mood. Due to the European migrant crisis, the IOC allows refugees to compete as Independent Olympians under the Olympic Flag making a historical decision. United States brings back an astounding 121 medals making it the 3rd most successful Olympics for the USA.

In September, Global CO2 emissions exceed the staggering 400ppm level, higher than even recorded in human history sending environmentalists into a frenzy.

Jake Arrieta, Kyle Schwarber, Chicago Cubs, Wrigley Field Back at home, hell freezes over as the Cubs make history in November 2016, by winning World Series Championship after 108 years.

November, closes the long and perhaps the most divisive American Presidential campaign with Donald Trump becoming the 58th President of the United States of America. This is truly a remarkable contest. Donald Trump makes history by being the first candidate ever with no prior experience in Public service to fight for the office and Hillary Clinton makes history as the first female candidate nominated by a major party in the US. Needless to say, the victory is sobered by the very divisive sentiments proliferating currently in the country.

With that said what a year this has been! I am sure as 2016 closes we can all put aside our political differences and work together towards brighter future and more peaceful 2017.

On a personal level, this year has been most memorable for me if also a bit arduous. As some of you who have been following this blog may know I was recently blessed with the birth of my beautiful baby girl. 2016 started with many misgivings: from first-trimester mood swings, indulgences, aversions to even feelings of self-doubt and fear. In August this year I was blessed with the birth of my baby girl which has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. This was however followed by a taxing recovery and sleepless nights that come with the territory (as any new parent can testify). This year has been full of its trials and subsequent rewards for which I am truly grateful. For the past 3 months I have been on Maternity leave and feel so blessed to get this time to bond with my child.

As I prepare to close the year and start 2017, I know I will think back to this year as a roller coaster of a year at a both global and personal level in which so many things least expected came to pass. 2016 has been an eventful year and like it or not, hopefully we have all picked up some important lessons.

Peace is a place in your mind

Peace is a place in your mind

‘Tis the season to take it easy…

Perspective

Bend it like Bikram: My post-pregnancy journey back to health

“Both pleasure and pain are great teachers”. By Swami Vivekananda

I wanted to do a 3-month follow-up to my last post “Cherishing the birth of my baby girl” and follow up on my attempt to get my life and body back after baby and C-Section. During my pregnancy, I had gained about 30 pounds. Within two weeks after my C-Section, I had automatically lost all but about 10 pounds. So when I embarked on my journey back to health, weight loss was not my main goal. Instead, I was focused on gaining my physical and mental strength back.
I was looking for a workout plan that was holistic in nature and one that would help both my mind and body heal. So I decided to give Bikram Yoga a try and do it for 30 consecutive days. The studio near my home had a deal for newcomers, so I decided to sign up.

Bikram yoga to the rescue:

More about Bikram: Bikram yoga is a series of fixed postures performed in a heated room designed to strengthen the entire body. Bikram is a system created by Bikram Choudhury and made popular in the US in the 70’s. It is also a controversial form of yoga. While practitioners swear by the efficacy of Bikram others believe the benefits of intense heat to be a bit questionable.

I used to practice Bikram over ten years ago and had worked my way up to advanced level. In my own personal experience, I had found Bikram to be extremely rejuvenating and cleansing when combined with ujjayi breath. It is important to follow (as much as possible) the instructions provided by the yoga instructors. The amazing part of the class is that even though you practice the same sequence over and over again, no two days are the same. You can never master a pose as there is always deeper you can go into each pose. Bikram teaches that achieving the perfect posture is not important, stumbling out of a pose helps you overcome your ego.

“Falling out of a posture
Means you are human;
Getting back into the posture
Means you are a yogi”
-Bikram Choudhury

It wasn’t long after I resumed my Bikram yoga practice, that I realized a decade worth of non-practice followed by pregnancy, had added more than a few cobwebs to my once flexible body. My way back to yoga was a very humbling experience. Pregnancy changes your body in a major way. My hips, shoulders, and abdomen felt tight and lacked the strength to hold positions. I was determined to succeed though and open to the challenge. I even started to see some initial results within two weeks. I felt bendier, my skin was glowing and I was even beginning to enjoy the heated room. Unfortunately, by the third week, the initial euphoria gave way to extreme exhaustion. I found the heat way too intense. Rather than helping me move deeper into the poses (which it is supposed to) I found it unbearable. I would come back home from my class completely drained and unable to carry on through the day. I tried to hydrate myself with liquids and Gatorade but nothing was working. So I started skipping classes. Hard as I tried Bikram yoga left me with far lesser energy than when I even started. I finally decided to discontinue my practice thinking maybe I had embarked on it a bit too soon after delivery.

Tracy Anderson’s – Post Pregnancy workout
Since Bikram yoga did not work out for me, I decided to look elsewhere. I was stuck at home too long and considered doing a workout DVD while my baby slept. I, therefore, decided to give Tracy Anderson’s “Post Pregnancy workout” a whirl. Tracy herself is a young mom and something about her words really resonated with me. Being a new mom she understands how hard it is to find any time for oneself and how hard it is to get one’s strength back after pregnancy, which you need a lot of if you are to take care of an infant. In the past, I have tried some of Tracy’s workouts such as her Mat workout, Cardio Dance and Boot camp. So I am not new to Tracy’s style. Her workouts hit the abs, thighs, and hips in just the right fashion and she aims at tiring the large muscle groups first and then bringing the smaller muscle groups into action throughout her workouts.

Pros
Fun workout: The DVD is really fun to follow and Tracy has an amazing body which I must say is an absolute inspiration for me. The DVD is 45 minutes long and composed of ab work, legwork, side ab work and arm exercises. The exercises are really challenging for me which I like as I tend to get bored if I don’t have sufficient challenge.

Melts your post pregnancy tummy: By the 4-5th day this DVD did a little wonder for my ab muscles. My ab muscles started kicking in with her moves where previously they felt almost dead. A little bit of tone has also returned in my hips and glutes. This has given me all the motivation I needed to persist.

Low intensity, high impact: This workout has no cardio just some intense Pilates-type moves that are really effective. Some of the exercises require light weights (no more than 2 pounds) so you know you are not going to hurt yourself. The workout has a slow steady pace and raises your heart rate without tiring you completely.

Cons
Knee exercises: I don’t like the fact that Tracy always does the leg section on knees. I find that a bit taxing on my poor knees. But if you fold a towel under your knees it should cushion the stress.

Poor verbal instructions: Tracy offers insufficient verbal directions which I must say is pretty characteristic of her in all her workout dvds. At times while working on one leg she will move to the other leg without ever giving verbal queues so if you are not watching her constantly you can get out of synch. But I found that a small nuisance in comparison to everything she has to offer.

Repetition: A lot of the exercises such as the arm series are repeated in all of her DVD’s. With that said they are effective and will tighten your arms like nothing else.

After just two weeks of doing this DVD 4-5 times a week, I feel so much stronger and more positive about getting my old body back. I know I still have a long way to go but I am in no hurry. I know I have nothing to prove and just want to work my way back into health. Like Tracey, herself states in her video, “It took you 9 months to have the baby, so it will take some time to get back your old body.” I will do a follow up at my 6-month post-delivery mark and let you know my experience and results then.

Meanwhile, I would love to hear from you. Tell me about your post-pregnancy experience. What did you do to get back into your old jeans or maybe it was no problem for you (in which case I am so jealous of you). Give me the skinny on what worked and what did not?

A Poem: Emotions

broken car vehicle vintage — Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Emotions

You can pick the last few pieces,

on sale at the neighborhood goodwill store,

Next to the tie-die shirts and clogs;

that nobody has any use for anymore.

I ran my fingers over the frayed material

as if to bid one last good-bye,

You could see they were worn out.

Life has a way of wearing out

delicate material like this. That is…

if you are hackneyed enough to carry

such old styles in your wardrobe in the first place.

My mother passed them on to me,

suitcases and suitcases of emotions.

They run thick in our family.

And I foolishly carried them on with me hoping

to pass them on to my kids.

But kids these days have such little patience for gibberish.

So I emptied the suitcases of emotions

and folded them into a neat pile

to be donated to goodwill

with the rest of the “old and no longer used”.

Tiny: Newborn feet

I was recently blessed with a gorgeous baby girl. The photo challenge provided by Cheri Lucas Rowland rang a chord in my heart as my baby’s tiny feet have brought about so many changes to my life and such joy to my heart.

Sometimes the biggest changes in life are brought about by tiny beginnings…

On choosing a lover

photo-1447688812233-3dbfff862778 If I could chose a lover it would be

Poetry; a lonely heart’s companion.

Words would descend upon me like

vultures on a juicy carcass.

Tearing my soul like an old King’s

ravenous concubine.

Who needs the rehearsed symphony of meter?

We would be giddy on music & rhythm,

playing on words.

Flirting, laughing, holding hands

we would share a cab ride back home.

There, one by one, we will play

all the tunes of life.

Glowing in the florescent light of a

cheap white wine, we will strip

down worldly frivolities.

Bare down to our bones, to our souls.

We would dance the night away

Naked, wordless, soulful.

It’s Fall

A wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. I think, I too, have known autumn too long.
by E.E. Cummings

(Photos by Viraj Thakur)

All that glitters is Vegas

Inspired by Daily Post: shine

Everything you need to know about Amazon Fresh before you subscribe

I am a new mother, and am looking for constructive ways to save time so I may focus more on my baby. I am also a food lover and never like to be without a cornucopia of fresh produce and healthy foods in my fridge and pantry. So I signed up for Amazon Fresh and have been ordering on a weekly basis for almost 2 months. Here is my honest and unbiased opinion.

What is Amazon Fresh?

amazon-fresh

In a nutshell Amazon Fresh is a new service offered by Amazon that provides a variety of fresh vegetables, beverages, organic and non organic produce and some prepared foods. They even offer some local market produce. The best part about Amazon Fresh is its ease of shopping online and next day delivery. It can be an ideal option for busy Executives or for people who are invalid or have recently gone through a surgery and find running to the grocery either too time-tasking or physically inconvenient.

With that said Amazon Fresh looks to me at best like “work in progress”. Amazon has not done such a great job of designing their Amazon Fresh menu as the rest of its website (read on for further clarification). Also the variety of produce available is not nearly as satisfactory as you would expect if you are a food lover.

Also at an additional $299/= cost per year with only one month trial membership Amazon Fresh is definitely no steal. So it may behoove you to know exactly the pros and cons of this service before you sign up.

Prices:

Prices of produce is on par with most local grocers and because it is easier to compare fruits and vegetables by cost you may even end up saving some $$$.

Coupons: Since Amazon is constantly improving their Amazon Fresh service, I recently noticed a few items had coupons available. Whenever an item has a coupon available they make it simple enough to apply it by simply clicking a button. However these items are few and far in between. If they can increase the line of products with coupons that will be a huge selling point for them.

Selection:

Overall selection of produce is what I will ding them most for. Even though they have enough products to fill your fridge and immediate needs, it is not nearly as abundant as what you will find at your local Ralph’s or rich as Farmers Market.

Delivery:

Like I said the convenience of next day door to door delivery was my main driving force towards choosing Fresh. Here are some pros and cons about Fresh delivery.

Pros: You basically make an order and they deliver it to you at the time slot you picked. I chose the non attended service so they just leave the totes outside my house. So far they have always delivered within the time slot I have chosen. The packaging is pretty solid. Fresh vegetables do not wilt because they add plenty of coolers and they come in sturdy green totes. Each tote has a disposable bag so there is no danger for contamination caused by reusable totes.

Cons: The annoying thing was that you have to store these big green totes until the next order which I make no sooner than 7-10 days. That means I have 5-7 large totes sitting outside my house at all times. Also I am worried of them getting stolen. This is a huge annoyance to me as I don’t think green totes outside adds to the general ambiance 😦

I called up Customer service to see if they can pick the totes right after delivery and they told me I would have to call up to schedule a tote pick up. I think having to call for a tote pick up every time is inconvenient, while having the totes lying around for a week is equally undesirable.

Also the way they package food items sucks sometimes. For instance you will have one tote with practically 1 item and another with 10 or more rendering a few items at the bottom of the tote to get damaged. For instance I ordered yogurt and cookies but they put them under the bottom of the tote and added cantaloupes and pineapples on top. Yogurt packages got squished and cookies were crumbled when I opened the packet. No biggie but worth a mention.

User Interface:

Pros: What I really like is that produce is nicely categorized under headings such as Produce, Perishables, Grocery, Household goods with many sub categories underneath to make searches easy. Searching for items under sub categories has a simple carousal style user interface.

Cons: Overall, Fresh menu is not as user friendly as the rest of Amazon website. I get the feeling that they did not take their time designing this feature. For instance there is no easy way to go back to old orders and reuse all or part of the old order(s).

The menu item “Past purchases” allows you too see your recent purchases but you have to individually add each item to the cart!!! I find it annoying to have to place a fresh order every time. They have also added the option to create grocery list but that is additional work. Why can’t I turn an old order into my grocery list and then use the entire list over and over again while making needed edits each time? I called Customer service and gave them my suggestion, but beyond a polite apology they did not seem to care.

Secondly, the problem with the carousal is for produce like onions, they show one onion on the carousel. So if you want to buy a dozen onions you will have to click the “Add to Fresh Cart” button a dozen times. That’s dumb. They do have another variety of onions available in a bag if you scroll through the carousal but you have to know to scroll for it. Why not have an easy option to add multiple onions within the carousal itself?

captureonioncarousal

Thirdly, Category items are not intuitively named. For instance if I need Goat’s milk, I would expect to find it under Beverages. But clicking Beverages brings me to Coffee, Tea, Water, Soft Drinks, Sports drinks, Juices, Coconut water (should this be a separate category?) and powdered mixes but no milk. You can still find it by searching in the Search bar but why not have a separate category for something as basic as Milk especially since they have a category for coconut water! Needless to say this is just an example. Overall they may need to create more intuitive categories and sub categories to make searching on Fresh products easier.

So in the end at an additional cost of $299/= an year it is up to you to decide whether Amazon floats your boat or not. For me it was the convenience. It may be worthwhile to know that Amazon Prime Fresh members get the benefits of both Amazon Prime and Amazon Fresh for an annual membership fee of $299.

With that said I will not extend my membership next year, since nothing beats the joy of being able to hold and smell your produce before buying it. On the other hand the convenience of ordering online and having your groceries sent to your door may be worth the extra $$$ for you. If you have used Amazon Fresh let me have your thoughts and let me know if you found my review helpful?

So it is 10/19/2016 about 18 days after I published this post. I wanted to do an update on Amazon Fresh. It seems Amazon is growing so fast it is unable to sustain its growth. The last two orders I made via Fresh were never sent to me at all. I called up Customer Service and they rescheduled it for me. Alas the orders were never sent even at the rescheduled time. After waiting 3 days for my order, I called up customer service to request for a refund as I am very unhappy with their service. I must say, Amazon has great Customer Service. Their agents are not just helpful but very personable and appear very happy. The Customer service person agreed to refund my money in full even though I would have been happy with a partial refund.

So long story short, Amazon Fresh did not work for me at all. I will continue being an Amazon Prime member but Fresh has a long way to go. The quality and variety of produce available is weak, and service is undependable. Bye, Bye Amazon Fresh.

Here and Now: Cherishing the birth of my baby girl

I am officially a mom now. We were blessed with our beautiful baby girl on 13^th August, after an intense day in labor. Having gone through the birthing experience I now understand how overrated birthing plans are. What happens during the labor and delivery is anybody’s guess and you had best not have too many plans, as chances are they will be flying out the window. Since I had a healthy pregnancy and my baby’s weight was 7.5 pounds according to ultrasounds, I was not planning on having a C-Section.

However, I quickly learned that there is nothing natural about Labor and that it is nothing short of agony. After several hours of painful pushing I was at a point where I was going to cry. I could barely breathe or think straight and asked the nurses if I could take a break and resume tomorrow. The nurses were kind but relentless and urged me to push on. Finally when after hours of pushing, the baby had still not descended (let alone crowned) my Doctor advised me to go for a C-Section. I must admit, I could not have acquiesced more gleefully. I also felt a bit guilty about taking the easy way out but I knew there was no way in hell I could push for another hour without passing out. Once the decision to the C-Section was made delivering the baby was a breeze.

During the entire C-Section my only fears were if my baby would be a healthy one. The C-Section was not painful, I was fully awake and aware of everything that was going on in the operation room but had requested not to be able to see anything. When I heard a small ovation from the nurses followed by a tiny wail, I knew the moment of truth was here.

I could hear my husband practically bouncing off the walls out of sheer joy, high fiving Doctors and nurses. Yet nobody bothered putting my worries to rest, nobody said, “Yes she is healthy and normal”. Nobody said, “Don’t worry, she has all ten toes and fingers and one head”. Nobody said she was “perfectly normal” the two words that felt dearer than anything just now… nobody said any of that and I could not see the baby myself from where I was, at least not until my husband brought this tiny bundle over by my side. It wasn’t until I looked at her sweet face and large contented eyes, that I learned my baby was absolutely perfect. Yes, she was going to be normal and a lot more. She was lovely; big black eyes that looked into mine and said, “Hello, I love you”. And suddenly it was as though this reservoir of uncontrollable love burst inside me, and I started to cry hysterically. My Doctor asked the nurse to give me an injection for my hysterics and I had to convince him I was only crying out of sheer joy.

I don’t think I will ever forget the moment when they first put her on my chest and she wrapped her tiny fingers around me. Her tiny embrace covered my entire world. I was hopelessly in love for life.

If the delivery was painless, the recovery was unfortunately a steep uphill. For two weeks everything hurt and I felt like an Egyptian mummy having to bind and hold my own stomach lest it should fall off on the way to the bathroom. The hospital food was bland and uninspiring. And short of the balloons and flowers my family brought me, my room felt like a torture chamber. When after four long days of recovery, they finally discharged me I was practically skipping my way out of the hospital…well not really… I was pushed me out on a wheelchair (hospital policy).

I had enjoyed the luxury of having my sister to take care of me for the first week. She had especially flown in from Massachusetts for the delivery. But because the baby was delivered a couple days before the day I was expecting to be induced, she had had to drive to the hospital directly from the airport. From the moment she entered my delivery room to the minute she flew out of LA, she was my rock. I cannot explain how important it is to have someone you can completely trust and feel comfortable with (besides your husband) during this time. Chances are your husband will be equally lost and beat (at least for the first baby). The C-Section leaves you with very little strength and you cannot be bashful about asking for help from nurses and your family.

After my sister left, I and my husband felt a bit scared taking care of a completely helpless baby all by ourselves. At first we were scared even to pick her or lay her down in her crib fearing we will hurt her delicate neck or Fontanel (soft spot on a baby’s head). We constantly googled the right way of handling the baby. Thank God for Internet and UTube we did just fine!

It’s now a little over a month since the delivery, and I can say with much regret that a good night’s sleep is now a thing of the past. If I ever complained of not being able to sleep well during my third trimester I should have known things can and will get far worse. For the first two weeks we barely got 3-4 hours of sleep at night. I know everyone suggests you to sleep when the baby sleeps. But that is not always possible. Once you are back from hospital there are always so many chores to do and things to take care of. Also I am not one of the lucky mothers who can sleep on demand. So I and my husband continue to survive on little to no sleep and look like a zombies, albeit happy zombies.

While so much about parenthood is intuitive, there is a lot which is not. For now my days and nights disappear into an endless frenzy of feeding, bathing, burping, swaddling, massaging and most importantly nappy changing the baby. Every day the baby grows bigger, we grow more confident in our parenting skills.

While good Parenting is something we will have to continue working on for the rest of our lives, we are truly grateful to have this beautiful baby to love and cherish. I had heard from other parents how having a baby will change your entire life but had no experience how a tiny eight pound bundle can turn your life on its head. And more notably, how you will never want to exchange the sheer madness of it all for anything else in your life…

Now over to you. Tell me of your first moments with your baby? If you haven’t had a baby yet, do you have memories of your sister’s, brother’s or a friend’s baby? Share your precious moments with Ubecute. If you already have a post on it don’t forget to create a pingback.

XOXO Ubecute now also Ubemom! YEAAA!

5 things pregnancy taught me

babycrib

5 Things Pregnancy taught me

Whosoever said “Women are the weaker sex” had no clue.

Giving life is serious Business. Between the countless inconveniences of midnight bathroom runs, nausea, heart burn, Braxton Hick contractions and feeling like a whale for 9 months; bringing a person to the world is no petty job. By the end of Pregnancy most women would have experienced a sleuth of pregnancy related issues and gained at least 25-35 pounds. Nature did not goof up by entrusting this mighty job to the “weaker sex”. Pregnancy takes a physical beating on a women’s body. And I am convinced it makes us women physically, mentally and emotionally stronger not weaker.

No walk in the park

When I first learned I was pregnant, I went through a roller coaster ride of emotions; periods of giddy happiness followed by fear and anxiety. I was fraught with fear that I would not make a good mother. I was uncertain of what to expect in pregnancy and feared the 9 months that loomed ahead of me. I had heard so many good and bad things about pregnancy and motherhood and now all those stories came back to perform a cirque de soleil in my head. Slowly but surely this phase of uncertainty passed and I grew more and more convinced that I was truly blessed to be experiencing this exciting period of my life. I learned later that majority of women experience similar fears at the beginning of their pregnancy but that few talk about it due to social stigma. While pregnancy is completely instinctive and natural there is nothing ordinary about it. We have lived our lives in a certain fashion for … years (fill in the blank with your age) and are used to it. Pregnancy changes all that experience on its head. Reconditioning our bodies and minds will surely take some time. Whether it is your first time or third time, pregnancy is no walk in the park.

This too shall pass

I like how 9 months of pregnancy are divided into 3 trimesters. Each trimester has a set of unique characteristics and marks a period in the growth of the fetus. Each trimester brought to me a different set of issues and blessings. But as I waded through it all, I learned no matter how good or bad things may be today, they shall pass. So just live in the present with the absolute awareness that this too shall pass. Live in the moment and enjoy it.

Appreciate what your mama gave you

I say this not in jest. All my life I have had a warped image of beauty. My image of beauty was in some ways mirror opposite of what I look like. I have tried countless exercise routines in hopes of improving my body but never once got close to my own definition of “ideal” or the “ideal” I was seeking. Pregnancy taught me that human body is perfect just the way it is.

Pregnancy has taught me to appreciate my body more than any exercise regimen could. Pregnancy has both humbled and embellished me.

After I deliver I will definitely go back to working out again, but not with dreams of achieving an ideal body but simply enjoying a healthy one.

It is not just about you

One of the best lessons about Pregnancy came to me from my sister. She said pregnancy is the most beautiful time in your life as you will never be truly alone, and everything you will do will be for someone else.

A friend of mine added, “Pregnancy makes you a better person because never before or after will you have two hearts beating in your body”.

Up until now everything I did was for myself. Pregnancy changed my perspective. Simple things you do are not just for yourself but for your baby. For instance before I put something in my mouth, I research if it is healthy and nutritious for the fetus. Wearing clothes is not about looks but about comfort and so on.

These are few pearls of wisdom I picked on route to motherhood. I am curious to hear from you. What are your thoughts on pregnancy if you experienced it first hand? Or maybe you learned not by experience but through your sister, mother, girlfriend or wife?

Do share your pregnant thoughts with me.

Morning

I am now full term and just waiting for my baby to come. But as yet there is no sign of baby. Sleeping at night is getting harder and harder (due to the constant discomfort), which makes waking up in the wee hours of morning almost impossible. So for now the beauty of the morning hour is as bereft as a good night sleep. Cheri Lucas’s morning post reinstated what I am missing out on right now: the early morning inspiration.

Here are some pictures from Bali that to me are as fresh as the Morning 🙂

Pregnancy: My 9 month journey

Pregnantlady

I have been M.I.A. on U be cute for almost 6 months now, but at least I have a good excuse. ***Drumrolls *** “I am having a baby! Yes I am.”

In all honesty I had given up all hopes of ever having a baby. In the past 7 years of marriage I have planned and celebrated countless baby showers for friends and family. I had almost come to terms with the fear that my time may have come and gone. Only one regret gnawed at my heart; that I should not be able to give the love to someone, that I received so wholeheartedly and unconditionally from my own parents. So when I found out last November that I was pregnant it felt more surreal than anything else.

I am now 38 weeks pregnant and really far along my journey. Overall, I have enjoyed a healthy and peaceful pregnancy. So I wanted to share my honest and true account for all of you ladies out there, who are either planning on getting pregnant or are in the early stages of pregnancy.

1^st Trimester: This was according to me the hardest part of my journey. Almost overnight after finding I was pregnant I started suffering from nausea, bloating, heartburn and breast tenderness. As most women will agree, morning sickness is a misnomer. It is truly all day sickness and in my case it was night sickness. Although I did not ever have to throw up my food, I just felt this constant distastefulness in my mouth. I also had severe aversions to many foods I previously enjoyed. I tried to stay healthy by eating a lot of fruits and vegetables so much so that I am almost infamous at work for being “overly healthy”. Despite all my efforts to maintain a healthy diet I was bloated and constipated in the beginning. I read a book by Dr. Walker on the benefits of raw vegetable juices ‘Raw Vegetable Juices: What’s Missing in Your Body?” and started juicing carrots, spinach, tomatoes and apples regularly. This relieved not only my constipation but also the heartburn and distaste in my mouth. I knew you don’t have to eat extra calories in the first trimester as the needs of the fetus are far too little at this point. So I ate what I enjoyed but almost never what my family, friends and colleagues suggested which were cookies, butter, cheese, milk! Instead I focused on smoothies, fruits and vegetables. I am also not into uncooked, raw vegan diet. I like my vegetables cooked and enjoy them with whole wheat bread or chapattis so I stayed with that.

2^nd Trimester: Almost everyone will tell you the second trimester is a breeze. I am here to tell you they are right. By the time you reach your second trimester some of the morning sickness and discomfort eases up on its own, the rest you learn to live with or have figured ways to cope with. By the fifth month I started to show my baby bump although it could easily have been hidden if I so chose it. Instead I went to “Destination Maternity” and bought myself clothes that rocked my baby bump. I was eager to flaunt my bump and sought clothes that exaggerated it. This is when people started to notice at work that I was pregnant. Women chose to ask openly while men probably noticed but politely ignored. This is when I stopped wearing high heels to work and bought myself a ton of cushioned flats.

A positive side effect of pregnancy was that I absolutely glowed during my second trimester (forgive the cockiness). Not only did my skin glow effortlessly but almost overnight my hair grew like 3 inches. I am sure it was due to the prenatal I had been taking all this while.

My mom and dad had been planning on visiting me for so long and I was sure they will be happy to fly over to visit me now. However, almost at the last minute, they both were unable to make it due to health issues. This was the saddest part for me as I had really been looking forward to sharing these days with my mom and dad. If they visited me they would have to fly from Goa to Bombay and Bombay to Dubai and then Dubai to Los Angeles which is one of the longest and most arduous stretches in plane journeys. So it is best that they should not take extra burden on their health.

Back at work things were very hectic. I was working on a couple projects both of which were demanding and I was getting little time for exercise. Falling off the exercise bandwagon was the biggest mistake I made during my pregnancy. To all other pregnant women I would highly encourage you to stick with some form of exercise regime throughout. The health of my baby is important to me so no matter what I tried to leave on time from work. By experience I know work has a tendency to fill the time you spend at it. If I had too much work I would just finish it at home with my legs up on the couch (so much better that way).

3^rd Trimester: One other advice I would like to give to first time mommies is not to give too much importance to the stories on the internet. I had read far too many horror stories on the net about 3^rd trimester and was very scared. Fortunately enough I have survived to tell you most of it is wrong. Pregnancy is what you will make of it. I never took it lightly before I was pregnant but once I got pregnant I learned that although it is not easy or fun it is natural. The body takes care of everything like flying on “auto-pilot” mode and all you have to do is to let go and fly or “waddle” to be more precise.

20160610_191308 (1) — 7months pregnant and showing off my bump

Around the 7^th month I started to notice a lot of fetal movements, although you may notice it a lot sooner. Also second time moms will notice them a lot sooner by virtue of experience. At first it was really exciting but by the 8^th month the movements got stronger as did the Braxton Hick contractions. These added a whole new range of discomfort. I constantly felt the urge to pee and getting a good night sleep was harder and harder. Falling asleep at night has been the hardest part of pregnancy for me almost from day one. In general I am a light sleeper and cannot fall asleep if disturbed. All the rushed bathroom visits through the night do nothing to help my case. So when people at work would remark my complexion glowed or that I looked well “rested” or that pregnancy suited me, I sometimes wanted to murder them. My 3^rd trimester is also the time when I started to get swelling on my hands and feet, this is what turned my walk to waddle. Keeping feet elevated helped but only during the duration. It’s impossible to walk, cook, clean or do basic functions while keeping your feet up. I also got some carpal tunnel in my hands especially in the morning. For those of you first time mommies that I have successfully scared by now, my heartfelt apologies. I won’t lie to you, there is discomfort and pain but honestly as uncomfortable as things may sometimes get, nature continues to give you strength. Just remember the “auto-pilot” mode I was talking about and things will go far better.

Now in my 38^th week, I have stopped driving too much by myself. Therefore, I am dependent on my husband to help me with groceries or run chores outside the house. P.S. I tried Amazon fresh membership and was pleasantly surprised. Although nothing beats being able to smell and pick the freshest produce, Amazon fresh is a good option for disabled, sick or just really busy folks.

Overall what do I think of Pregnancy? I always said having a baby is like experiencing a miracle. Now I truly lived the miracle. The myriad changes your body goes through to make life happen is not just a miracle but a blessing and I am so grateful I got to experience it. At the start of my journey I had so many qualms and concerns. I was scared I will never be able to make it this far, that maybe I did not have it in me. I was wrong. Now that I look back at it, I know I really had to do nothing. Nature takes care of everything. She is the mother far greater than any of us will be 🙂

I will write back how my labor and delivery went. Until then.