San Diego – New Year at Gas Lamp District

The Gaslamp District provides a vibrant, youthful and rich experience to visitors. Only a short two hours drive from Los Angeles, this place offers a round-the-clock party atmosphere with plenty of bars, restaurants and dive bars to chose from. It extends from Broadway to Harbor Drive, and from 4th to 6th Avenue, covering 16½ blocks. It includes 94 historic buildings, some that were constructed as far back as the Victorian era and are in excellent condition and still in use even today. We visited the Gas Lamp district for New Year’s eve and I was able to catch some of the decorations and festivities on my camera. I have added some personal observations on the places we visited as well as historical references where applicable. Enjoy the e-visit!

The district was so named after the Gas lamps that were used in the late 19th century.

The Coyote Ugly Saloon was first started in New York and gained National attention after Hollywood decided to bring this bar to the world map with “Coyote Ugly” movie starring Piper Perabo and Maria Bello. Apparently the bar is not famous for its excellent service and whatever you do don’t ask for a glass of water here!

Dick’s last resort eatery is infamous for its rude servers who dish out fattening fries, sandwiches, Burgers with Beer and serve it with plenty of saucy remarks. I am not kidding! This place is actually famous for its “Service with Sarcasm” slogan. The place is actually fun and there is plenty of memorabilia to check out while you enjoy your food. Just go in with good humor. The servers were not rude at all but fun and helpful.

The name of this place is inspired by its history. Garage Kitchen and Bar used to be an actual Garage called “Carriage works” built in 1890 and housed buggies and wagons. Today it houses a vibrant atmosphere, good food and excellent service. Definitely recommend their Kale salad and Roasted Garlic Hummus with cured olives. They also have tons of beer on tap.

I took a picture of this toy as it reminded me of my childhood. Monchhichi was a toy I always wanted as a kid. Sure enough I bought it as an adult!

Ghirardelli Ice Cream & Chocolate Shop for a quick Chocolate fix

Wish you all a very Happy New Year. Have an excellent 2016!

Antiquated

I love visiting Antique stores for their sheer nostalgic value. Some of the items are even before my time and I cannot but help look at random objects and wonder the history of the object. Who was the original owner? Did she enjoy using that article? What was her story? What was happening in the world at that time? Every object for sale is more of a story and less of an object. Here are 3 pictures of the Stars Antique Market in Hermosa Beach. Look at the abandoned dolls, cookie jars, handwoven crochet blanket. Among these artifacts and more you will find tons of stories to ponder and savor.

Photo Challenge: Now

Here is wishing you all a very Merry X-Mas and a Happy New Year. Since this week’s challenge is all about the “Now and here” I thought it only be appropriate to catch a little of the Christmas cheer on lens. The Sleepy Hollow Christmas Lights in Torrance California are famous for streets and streets of decorated lights. Hundreds of cars pass by the neighborhood every hour to check these lights out and one has to be really talented to be able to drive and aim for pictures.

Since it is really cold and breezy outside, some houses even sell hot chocolates, popcorn, water and even churros! I am sure many of your neighborhoods do something similar? I tried to catch some of the holiday cheer driving past the neighborhood, though it was hard to do justice. Enjoy!

DSC_0343_up

2015 Retrospective

Retrospective As 2015 draws to a close one cannot help but look back at everything exciting and not so exciting that the year had to offer. At a global level 2015 brought in its wake major news highlights such as Discovery of Water on Mars, Queen Elizabeth reaching a milestone year, rebirth of Stars Wars as well as some rather heartbreaking incidents such as the Paris attacks, Migrant crisis, Financial collapse of Greece and of course Nepal earthquake to name just a few.

At a personal level 2015 has brought me some triumphs and few eye-opening failures. I feel adversities and failures bring with them an opportunity to learn and grow. In my career front despite my best effort I felt very overlooked and unappreciated. But this has given me the awareness to improve my skills to an extent that would make them impossible to be overlooked in future.

So coming back to my blog ubecute. Ubecute too has had to learn from its 2015 setbacks. Ubecute was started in 2014 which was an excellent first year. In its first year (2014) Ubecute had received over 14, 299 views and had a total of 137 published posts.

2015 however envisaged a damper 6,881 views only with only a total of 60 posts. The fault clearly lies on the frequency, number and possibly the quality of posts published. It is evident that to have a well-oiled blog one needs to publish quality posts periodically at fixed intervals. Lesson Learned boss!

In the end, allow me to wrap it up with some of Ubecute’s highlights in the last two years. I was visiting the Stats page on WordPress and picked out 3 of my most viewed posts. I then picked out 3 of my least visited posts that I actually love but received few views. Feel free to take a quick walk with me in the memory lane by reading some of these most/least visited posts in the last two years. Enjoy!

Top 3 most viewed posts that I really enjoyed writing:

Naked as the Maple Tree – 2,350 views (A poem in which I compared myself to …yes you guessed it…a Maple tree)

Review on Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis – 250 views (A personal take on Tracy’s exercise video called Metamorphosis)

Serene Goa – 200 views (I loved this article as it was full of pictures from my last visit of Goa. In my view Goa is an underrated and inexpensive vacation destination. So if you are looking for one check this article out and feel free to reach me if you need any suggestions on visiting Goa)

Top 3 Least viewed that I hoped would not be collecting cobwebs:

The power of small: I honestly enjoyed writing this article on how small efforts make big changes and have life changing effects. In my personal experience I found that some of my biggest successes have been envisioned out of tiny efforts made over a period of time.

I sold my Sister – A poem about a child selling her younger sister. Although the poem is not autobiographical in nature it evoked some deep emotions from readers and I loved all the comments and feedback I received.

But no Cigar – This was a short story about a well-known diabolical character. I generally never write humorous short stories, so this was something new for me. It is a quick and witty read so I hope you will enjoy it.

Gathering: Photo Challenge

Gathering of birds

…dogs

…people

…fishermen

Inspired by Photo Challenge: Gathering

Coffee Date

It seems November is the month for coffee dates with friends! Well not really but it may as well be, since Cheri Lucas Rowlands created a prompt to write about a coffee date with a friend. The rules are simple: basically pretend you are having a coffee date with a friend and “share any details you’d like and include as many as you want, as long as you begin each with If we were having coffee right now... “

I loved the prompt and immediately drafted the post below. If you too like the prompt then feel free to get your creative juices flowing by drafting a post and publishing on your blog. Feel free to pingback if you like.

Dear Friend,

It’s been such a long time since we met for a coffee and talked. I have so much to tell you and catch up with you.

If we were having coffee right now, I could tell you that last month I completed an amazing trek to the bottom of Grand Canyon all the way to Phantom Ranch and back. And what lovely sceneries I caught on camera. Some of these pictures will soon be published on National Geographic! I will be posting links on my blog shortly.

If we were having coffee right now, I would tell you that two weeks ago, I ran a triathlon and helped raise $6000/= for Cancer Relief. I would tell you that that’s not all. I am planning to raise twice as much for the Homeless by the end of this year.

If we were having coffee right now, I would tell you that I have decided to take a yearlong break from work to go backpacking around the world. I have decided to leave my humble yet comfortable life to live out of a backpack, eat peanuts and rice, and wear recycled clothes as long as I can get to soak the world like a sponge. I would promise to write a post every day documenting everything I see and discover!

If we were having coffee right now, I would tell you, I have finally decided to climb the Mount Everest. Yes the Mount Everest! I have already started to train intensively for it.

If we were having coffee right now I could tell you all this and more but I will not. I will not, because I would be lying. I have lived my entire life in the safe lane. I am not brave or daring enough to trek to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Besides it is so forbiddingly hot that it is way out of my comfort zone. Snakes, lizards and mice creep me out. Yes I know I suck, but I am sorry that’s who I am. I am scared of heights, hot temperatures, reptiles and rodents.

I have frequently donated to several charities but never made an effort to raise notable sums for any. And oh how I wish I had the guts to leave my job and go and travel for a whole year! Discovering the world with a child’s eyes and catching it on a camera! But there again I am to disappoint you and above all myself. I like to play it safe, so safe that I may be missing out on life and I know it.

I am scared of heights so I would never be climbing the Mount Everest even though the very thought of scaling the heights of the forbidding peak excites every cell in my body.

Instead, if you were to take time out to meet me for coffee, I would tell you that just now I am trying to figure out the meaning of life sitting on my couch in the comfort of my home. And it refuses to make sense. I read the news and feel for the millions of homeless refugees as well as the families of the innocent people who lost their lives in the Paris attacks. I am trying so hard to make sense out of the chaos and sorrow but cannot. What could I say to justify the senselessness of it? What dire lessons are we to learn out of such madness that would justify all the human suffering?

If you were to take time out to meet me for coffee. I would tell you I am sorry. I am sorry I am not more exciting and spunky. I can’t just get up and leave and do what I really want to. Instead I do what I should. I pay my bills, go to work, eat healthy and basically walk the line. That’s how I have always been and that’s who I will be. I am a thinker yet I have not solved any major puzzles of life.

If you were to take time out to meet me for coffee, I would instead tell you my life is simple and monotonous where one day easily bleeds into another. But for that I am truly grateful. I cannot thank my stars enough for its comforting predictability. What’s worse is I know there are millions who would give anything to have half of what I or you take for granted every day.

If you were to take time out to meet me for coffee, I would instead tell you that even though climbing the Everest sounds mind bogglingly exciting to me I would never ever do it. I would never do it not because I am scared, but because I am not convinced it matters. Life offers enough challenges every day. I don’t need to climb 30,000 feet above sea level to discover them. You might say it’s an excuse but I am not here to prove you wrong.

If you were to truly take time out to meet me for coffee, I would tell you I am boring and ordinary in every way. If you can distinguish me from any other Jane Doe you met today on the bus stop, subway, coffee shop, grocery line, then I would be truly impressed with you.

If you still care to meet me for a coffee I will be sitting right here without any pretense, waiting with an open heart. And maybe I will just listen!

Love Letter to life

Heart

Dear Life,

How are you doing? I am sorry I haven’t been answering your phone calls lately. The other day you knocked on my door and I pretended to be out. When you turned around to leave, it almost sucked the breath out of my soul. I needed some time to think about us. I just want to clarify that this is not a break-up letter, even if it reads like one. See I am not yet done loving you. You were, are and always will be dearer to me than anything else in the world. I am only writing to you so you can understand how you make me feel. Maybe once you learn what it is you are doing wrong, you will change your ways?

Yea, I know we have been flirting, fighting, making up and most of all disappointing each other for a long time. But now I am done playing these games with you. I am also done fighting with you because you are just too strong for me. I have bruised knuckles and knees to prove. The last time I fought you, I ended up rolled over in a corner; flattened out like dough. And then just when I was ready to give up, you came back around placating me like you do. You embraced, kissed, and sang to me and suddenly the sun shone brighter, and the world tasted sweeter than Nutella. Suddenly my world was an ice cream truck playing “The Mister softee” jingle.

I know I am play-doh in your hands. You reward me with your love just as unexpectedly as you punish and chastise me. But it’s when you ignore me that I hate the most. It’s like I am suddenly invisible to you. Without you, I am a mouse running aimlessly inside a wheel.

But who am I to complain? The truth is I need you more than you need me. Without you I am nothing. Heck without you, I don’t even exist. You on the other hand have countless lovers. You have kissed just as many into existence as you have put to bed (six feet under). For you my darling are life incarnate! You are the mountains, oceans, skies, birds, bees, animals and humans. Everything that lives is you and nothing that does not is not. You are past, present and future. To live is to love you. And dear life, I do!

Yours faithfully,

Me.

The “Write” Nook

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
― Ernest Hemingway

WriteNook

When it comes to writing there is no better place to start than in your own mind. Yet, I have read so many articles on accomplished writers sharing their personal stories on what gets their creative juices flowing and almost all of them recommend having a designated area to write; a shrine, a sacred place. They recommend using it strictly for creative writing and not desecrating it for any non creative activities.

As for me, I haven’t even spelled “a” of accomplished. I neither have a sacred “write” place nor a sacred ritual that will get the juices flowing. I wish creativity were as simple as opening a faucet! But it is not. Instead It is hours and hours of practice, writing and rewriting. It is opening your soul to the world fully knowing that it can be ridiculed, shredded apart or worse still overlooked!

So what is my favorite writing nook? I tend to write anywhere; tucked in bed watching Television (yes, that is very distracting), at the dining table (also distracting), or just making mental notes (yes, I have lost a lot of potential ideas by virtue of relying totally on memory). Unfortunately, I don’t own a private study, and have no designated nook of my own where I commence writing.

But if I had the luxury of having my own study I know exactly what it would look like. It would have a sign on the door reading, “Enter at your own risk, ye who dares to enter”. My study would have a large ivory colored table with drawers and filing cabinets. I would use the cabinets to save my unfinished drafts, cut outs, and newspaper clippings. The walls would be covered with photographs of beautiful places and life caught on lens. It would also have a couch that I can lounge on when I am tired of sitting at my desk. There would be a slight disarray to my ideal study as I feel too much organization is the enemy of creativity. Alas for now, my “write” nook consists of the space between myself and my laptop!

Fortunately enough writing is engrossing enough for me that I can easily shut off the world and can write comfortably anywhere! As a child I used to paint a lot. I would get so engrossed in my work that I would paint nonstop for hours without remembering to eat or drink. Although I have severe ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), when it comes to writing my ADD evaporates like a puff of black smoke.

Most writers find that waking up in the morning to write is especially valuable. While that makes sense (since your mind is at its peak performance in the morning) it somehow never worked for me. I usually write at night after preparing dinner and cleaning up. My biggest writing foe is also my biggest weakness: the idiot box. Whenever I have the courage to shut the TV out of my evenings, I can save time to write.

I know I have written a nice piece when I get goosebumps reading it out aloud. My “write nook” or a lack thereof is probably markedly different from yours (I hope for your sake!). So what’s your favorite space and ritual to write? Do you have a preferred time of the day when you like to put pen to paper? Do you have any other writing nuances? Give me the skinny on your “write nook” and “write stuff”.

Room for improvement

“There’s always room for improvement, it’s the biggest room in the house.” – By Louise Heath

RoomforImprovement

I am a strong believer of continuous self-improvement, because what you are born with is God’s gift to you but what you make of yourself is your gift to God.

At the end of each year, I create a list of goals for next year. Some people prefer writing their goals on their birthdays since it is a different kind of a new year. You can do whatever works for you. But since my birthday falls right in the smacking center of the year (30th June), I find that I use my birthday to reassess my achievements and ponder on my goals. Looking back, I feel the most productive years have been those in which I achieved at least 80% of my goals. To be honest, I never realized all my goals just because life is so fluid and one’s goals need to be adjusted with the changing demands life places. Also, I tend to be overzealous while creating my goals.

If you are one of the over-achievers then you constantly not only achieve your goals but go over and beyond. Some people believe writing their goals down every day helps them stay motivated and keep their goals fresh in their mind. I write my goals once and then visit them a few times through the year. I feel that just keeping goals in the sub-conscious is enough.

Yesterday I found an old diary of mine, that I used to write 15 years ago. Surprisingly enough I happened to flip open a page where I had written what I would like to achieve and who I would like to be when I grow up and I had called the list “My Dream Self”. I was so pleasantly shocked to realize that I have achieved all the things my “dream self” was going to achieve. Sounds ambitious? Not really, I have heard a lot of my colleagues and friends make similar claims. It has probably something to do with the “law of attraction” or the concept of attracting one’s destiny. When we want something badly enough we end up attracting it. Sadly enough the outcome may not always be happy. Just because we wanted it and got it does not mean it is good for us or it would make us happy. But that is subject matter for another day.

In some ways I feel it is better not to be completely satisfied ever. If you are easily satisfied with who you are and what you have, you will not persist to achieve more. In order to create the best version of yourself, the hunger to constantly improve should persist. I am not recommending being unhappy or ungrateful for what you have. On the contrary, I am recommending the awareness that what you have is the best you can have today and be grateful for that, but also realize that it can and will get better if you continue to endeavor harder.

So about my goals for 2016? Sorry, I cannot share my entire list of goals as some are a bit personal but here are a few. If you already have had a chance to write your goals for next year then feel free to share a few. If not, may I recommend taking some time in the coming weeks and writing down everything you want to achieve next year?

My Goals for 2016

1) Read 10 new Poetry anthologies in 2016

2) Revise 30 of my own favorite poems

3) Write at least 2 posts a week

4) Workout 6 days a week (long walks count)

5) Eat healthily (more salads, smoothies, soups and other healthy cooked foods)

6) Learn a new recipe every week (salads and soups count)

7) Spend more time with family and friends

8) Do something nice for someone every day (anybody else besides myself)

9) Allow myself no more than 3 days of TV a week (right now I watch TV every day!!)

10) Visit a new place every month. It does not have to be any place special a fair, library, coffee shop…will do just fine!

11) Always stay positive (I know this is easier said than done, but I think just attempting to be positive is half the job done!)

Things I like

Here are a few of my favorite things :). Feel free to share a few of your own or let me know if we have any in common?

Enjoying my morning cup of tea, while casually skimming The Shape magazine.
Watching Humming birds suck lilies in my garden
Waking up unwillingly only to realize it’s a long weekend
Preparing for a long vacation; the anticipation is always the best!
Sighting a pair of dolphins while walking on the beach
Calling mom and dad and having a great conversation
Sitting at a shack in Goa with mom and dad next to me
Watching a matinee with a large popcorn and coke
Reading a big book in two days (because I am such a slow reader)
Eating yogurt and cucumber sandwiches on a sunny afternoon with homemade lemonade
Getting my hair professionally blow dried (I look like the Pantene girl for a day)
Reading Ted Kooser’s “The beaded purse” and crying my eyes out. I know that’s a weird thing to like. But sometimes I need to be cathartic!
Watching my favorite show back to back. Like Game of Thrones!
Enjoying an excellent book of poetry with a glass of white wine; preferably Pinot Grigio
When my dog listens to my “sit” command even if for the duration of the treat being offered to him

What do you envy?

Day 1: What was the one toy that a friend had that you wished you had when you were little?

When I was about six years old my father was transferred to Germany, Frankfurt for a period of three years. The flight to Germany was my first experience being in a Boeing 747. My mother told me that planes were the fastest way to cover long distances and I absolutely would not believe her. “Look” I pointed out at the plane’s wings, “This plane is just standing still, it’s not going anywhere. We will never get to Germany at this rate.”

Getting acclimatized in Germany could not have been easy even for a young child as it was so different from India. The clothes we brought with us soon felt completely useless in Germany’s subzero degree winters. And the first thing we did was buy winter gear. School was very foreign. Being painfully shy, I never made too many friends. Most of my friends were imaginary; most not all. Andreas was one of my few flesh and blood friends.

Andreas was a dimple faced, rosy cheeked, blonde haired boy. Have you ever read Archie comics? Imagine Archie as a 6 year old boy and that’s how Andreas looked except he was blond. We got along instantly. I loved visiting his home. His room was filled with so many toys and pets, he barely had room to store them.

His room was an overflowing mess of stuffed toys, musical instruments, games, robots, books, legos and so many other random toys. But what I truly envied him for were his pets. Andreas had two dogs: Tiffy (a tiny German Spitz) and Odell (medium sized Pomeranian). Tiffy was the feistiest and tiniest dog I had ever seen. She belonged to Andreas’s mom and did not appreciate anybody touching her. She was cute as a button and feisty as a monster. Odell on the other hand was the friendliest, kindest dog I ever met. He was an old zen soul in a dog’s body. Odell would follow Andreas and me everywhere. Andreas also had a temperature controlled aquarium with gold fish. And a tiny white hamster that enjoyed abode in a luxurious cage with tubes, tunnels and a wheel for running. Andreas had a small garden outside with a medium sized Turtle. Although the turtle was allowed to roam freely in the garden during the daytime, it was never hard to catch him. He would always find him pretty much in the same area we left him in the morning.

Andreas’ pets were all so much fun to watch and play with. I loved all his animals so much I would have given my right hand for them. As soon as I would come back from school, I would finish my homework so mom would let me go and play with Andreas.

Unfortunately soon after we left Germany I lost touch with him. Several decades later I still wonder how he is and where he is. And most importantly how great it would be to reconnect with him and learn of all his experiences since! So here is to Andreas, my blue eyed, blonde friend, “Thanks for being such a great sport and letting me play with all your toys and animals. Thanks for sharing your world and never asking anything back. But above all thanks for being a bud!”

So tell me your story. Did you have a friend who had a toy that you envied?

Gang Rapes in Delhi: A growing curse

The rise of rapes in India is as much of a politicized topic as it is controversial and tabooed. We do not want to accept that the plight of women in general in India is at best: second class. Yes, you see a handful of bright young women climbing the corporate ladder, joining the army and becoming doctors and scientists yet the vast majority of Indian women stay deprived of basic human rights that their male counterparts take for granted.

Even today discussing unjust treatments meted to women including rapes, eve teasing, passing lewd comments, dowry, child infanticide and bride burning are tabooed. It is the elephant in the room that everyone would rather ignore.

To be honest this is also a very unusual topic for Ubecute to undertake as well, as Ubecute is all about enjoying and pursuing the happiness and beauty in life. However to accept and appreciate beauty is to be aware of the ugliness and the darkness that also exists in the same world. It would be a sham if Ubecute failed to acknowledge the gross cruelty and injustice that is meted to so many among us. To close one’s eyes against evil does not make it go away.

The controversial topic of rapes in India is nothing new and has been dealt by countless news agencies and bloggers. A simple google search will reveal the hard fact that 93 women are being raped in India every single day. Yet some people claim that India has the lowest per capita rate of rape; a claim that is perhaps equally dismissive of the reality as it is misleading. These are only reported cases of rape. Some claim that as few as 1 to 10 percent of rapes are actually reported.

And for some reason, Delhi seems to be the crime city of Rapes in India. According to the Guardian, India has been hit by a wave of sexual violence – particularly gang rapes, citing the case of the 51 year old Danish tourist who was gang raped, robbed and beaten in Delhi. Despite the stringent laws and rallying after Nirbhaya incident in New Delhi, the rape cases continue to rise: from 24,923 in 2012 to 33,707 in 2013!

Picture of pending cases : Courtesy Tribune

It saddens me to see that this is the Delhi I grew up and loved! It is the same city where Gurudwaras and Temples offer Langars or free food to the poor every day. And the city where people assemble every morning in community parks to practice yoga free of cost. This is also the capital city of the country which hosts the government’s legislature, executive and judiciary arms of the government. There is so much history and glory associated to this city that it is deplorable that it has become the hot bed of some of the worst crimes done to women. Why is it that despite all the economic growth in the past decades India fails to provide its women a safe and equally privileged environment as males?

Truth be told, most women in Delhi have experienced some form of eve teasing. Having grown up in Delhi, I speak from experience. Even as a child I was subject to lewd comments from uncouth men. Nor have I forgotten the unexpected nabbing and jabbing of feminine parts while using public transportation, which left you as stunned and violated. I remember growing up in Delhi, I had invented a style of walking on busy streets, which would save me from such perverse people. I would walk with my hands crossed in front of me and my shoulders as far wide as possible so nobody could jab me from the side or the front. I recently saw a documentary in which other girls were explaining doing similar things to protect themselves. I would come home and never tell my parents about what happened for fear of worrying them. The saddest part of it all was that I assumed it was normal. And I was not unique in thinking that way. Women in Delhi constantly feel the pangs of lewd comments and eve teasing and take it in their stride as no “big deal”.

Yet eve teasing is one thing and rapes are something else. Not for a moment do I mean to place them in the same category or claim to understand the agony of rape victims. So why do so many cases go unreported?

Many women who go through abuse are in not in a position to speak against their perpetrators. The abusers may well be their husbands, close relatives, family friends, neighbors and many of these women may be very poor with little standing in society. Plus there is so much social stigma associated with it. There are those brave women who have spoken up only to get further abused and persecuted. Their families have retained the social stigma for the rest of their lives. Why are victims made to feel like offenders?

I believe part of the problem lies with the way children are schooled in India. Thinking back of school days I am saddened to remember that we were given “state of class” education in Math, Sciences and Languages but never really taught sex education. We did not have hot lines where girls from abusive families could call for help. If this is state of some of the best English medium schools then the problem is tenfold in Government funded schools.

While the Government continues to create stringent laws and make verbal promises to be doing everything in its power, crimes against Women continue to grow.

220px-Durga_Mahisasuramardini — It’s disheartening to see a country that builds temples to worship its Female goddesses will witness some of the worst cruelties against women.

Of course rapes happen in Developed countries including USA. But the difference is the outlook towards the victims. To be raped in India in some cases is being stigmatized more than having committed a crime! Also rapes in USA are fortunately on decline which is an excellent trend, while they continue to rise in India!

Some people point that the root of this evil actually lies in the new found liberty of women who go to schools and offices thereby creating an opportunity for culprits to prey on them. Others point to India’s acute gender imbalance, caste system and entrenched patriarchal culture. Perhaps the worst excuse is the one provided by some Conservatives who claim “western influences”, may be contributing to this! Until people stop searching for a reason in the victim to somehow having attracted the rape, things will never change!

One of the saddest cases to storm the country happened in May 2014, when two village girls 14 and 16 were gang raped in a backward village of Katra Sadatgunj in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh. They were allegedly raped by the boys of a neighboring village. While the plight of the girls was pathetic, my heart went out to their parents. Especially the father who sat on his haunches crying his heart out. He was showing a workbook of his daughter who was the only girl in his entire family to go to school. The mother of one of the girls said her daughter wanted to grow up and do “something more than just get married”. They wanted to study and get a job. While there are so many reasons for why this crime happened the truth remains…it happened! And that is enough. The father will never see the joy of her daughter (the only literate child in his family) graduating, or growing up to get a job, or getting married and having kids. Instead he will see her raped, beaten and hanged to a tree.

Later in November 2014 a new story would surface claiming the girls were never really raped and murdered but had decided to go to the fields in the middle of the night to relieve themselves and for suspicious reasons hanged themselves to death. The reason for suicide was inconclusive. Apparently it’s easier to claim an issue does not exist than to fix it!

If I started to name individual cases of brutality and injustice against woman in India, this would become a very long article. I am writing this post for the thousands of nameless women who continue to feel subjugated by their own people. I don’t know how things will change. I have no bitter pill or solution to offer. Despite of all the rallying and advancement the much needed change has not yet happened. It behooves us to first accept the reality that enough has not yet been done. Even one women raped anywhere in the world, is one too many!

OMG! WTF! Don’t LOL …but Social Media speak is like killing me!

IMHO (In my humble opinion) all this social media speak like “OMG”, “WTF”, “LOL”, “ROFL” is really gone way out of hand. DAE (Does anyone else) feel that way, or is it just me? It feels like people don’t talk to each other F2F (face to face) anymore. People only text. And when they text they abbreviate. WTF! *Shudder*

What’s more if you are not fluent in Social-speak you may be deemed “uncool” by your kids and they may even LOL at you! If you don’t even own a Smart phone …well then forget about it!

I can’t even count the number of dinners I have gone to in the past few years, where everybody was sitting over a dinner table busy texting rather than talking to each other. It felt like the only words that were shared were on their smart phones in abbreviated codes. I wonder if these same people would later go back home and have a proper chat over their smart phones? And how far will this culture of no face to face communication go? Will people go on dates and communicate over texts?

I am not sure what I hate more. The fact that social media threatens to create an anti-social society incapable of communicating with each other in person or that it has created an unoriginal language of hashtags and abbreviations? ADD much?

BTAIM (be that as it may), Social Media is here to stay, like it or not. Personally, I think it does not do us any favor to lose the social aspect in an already supercilious society.

But I want you to tell me what you really think about all this incessant texting? Forget what your kids will say or how you may be shunned at work. Now is the time to speak up in favor or against Social Speak.

Ok, I GTG but Like drop me a line and be my BFF forever!

Home is where the Homies are…

I have a curious case of Homebody-ness. I love my Home above all things. When everybody is dressing up to go for a night out, I chose to stay at home and “just chill”. Interestingly enough I have moved so many times in the past 15 years, that I have even lost count of how many homes I have had.

When I was a student I lived in a dorm, then shared an apartment with other students, then moved back to dorm and then lived with a wonderful Greek lady as her paying guest. Then as soon as I got a job I rented an apartment but changed my jobs and cities several times each time moving into a new location close to work.

Finally, after 15 years of leading a gypsy life, I now own a small but comfortable home with my husband and dog. Yet, no matter where I may have lived; be it a room small enough to be a closet or my own house; each of the dorm room/home share/apartments have been HOME to me.

Today, when I reach home, my heart flutters for joy not just seeing the welcoming comforts of my home but my husband and my little dog Ziggy. Ziggy bounces around me as soon as I reach home, until he has my full attention for the next few minutes. And it just makes me feel so special.

If you were to ask 5 things that make my home mine, they would be:

My hubbie – self explanatory
My dog Ziggy – see above
My kitchen – I love to cook and love to decorate my kitchen and it’s well lighted box window with small pieces of Art. When I reach home I stand there for a few minutes enjoying a snack or rummaging the refrigerator looking for dinner inspiration.
My couch – My couch and I have a love and hate relationship. I hate that I love it so much. I have wasted countless evenings and weekends just sitting on it doing nothing but flipping channels. It’s quite sad really. But truth be told it feels awesome to be able to do just that!
My jammies – Reaching home really means donning my jammies. Nothing says comfort better than a pair of well worn pyjamas. It tells you, you are home.

Of course I love my home and its rooms, its walls decorated with memories and family photos. But above all home would not be home without my homies! God bless!

Schön macher, Schnell macher

I was only six years old when my parents moved to Frankfurt, Germany. We spent three wonderful years there and to this day I harbor memories of beautiful Germany and the friends we made. Frankfurt was a beautiful, scenic and most of all a kid friendly place.

There were government funded youth clubs for children that offered after school activities to children of all ages, called “Jungendhausen”. The aim of these youth clubs was to promote creativity, art and workmanship in children while keeping them engaged and out of trouble…I guess!

I and my sister would go there every day after school and spend hours building or “basteln”. I remember making lamps out of a ballon and paper, toys out of wood, stone and clay and much more. The hours spent in the Jungendhausen under the supervision of the teachers were the highlight of my day.

One such day I remember my teacher calling me and my sister out as “Schön macher und Schnell Macher”.

“Schön macher” in German stands for a person who does beautiful work. My sister being a perfectionist and a few years older to me had the art for chiselling wood or stone into the most artistic shapes, which is why my teacher called her “Schön macher”. I on the other hand was all about “quantity”. I did not care much for detail. The fish I carved out of limestone had a vague resemblance to a fish but could have been an eye, the dog looked more like a cat and the clay shoe house was almost falling over its side. Get the drift? The Jungendhaus had a display window to show case all the art work made by children. It is no surprise that my sister’s artwork made it into the window many a times and mine would never reach its epoch glory.

Decades later I am reminded of what my teacher said, “Schön macher und Schnell Macher”. And I wonder which is better? Is it better to be a Schön macher and spend hours laboring on a piece of writing to perfection? Or is it better to be “Schnell Macher” and churn out greater volume?

Ofcourse this brings us to the ever debated topic of Quantity versus Quality? I am a bit equivocal on the matter and believe they both have their pros and cons. For instance when it come to blessings, I would rather have more but when it comes to friends I would rather have quality.

But are the lines between the two always black and white when it comes to writing? The craft of Writing is all about writing more and writing often and more importantly: rewriting.

I guess good writing is almost like a marriage of quantity and quality. If we marry the two we would probably end up with a supermodel child called “Quan-lity”.

Quan-lity would be the art of producing high quality written material in great volume.

But that is easier said than done. How do you strike the perfect balance to achieve a piece of prose or poetry that offers unrivalled quan-lity? If you were training someone to be a better writer would you err on the side of quality or quantity? Or would you insist on finding the perfect balance. If so, how do you strike the perfect balance?

Charming Rural

Green fields – Goa

An old pond outside a Temple

Pigeon

An old Church in Goa

Side view of an old Church – Goa

Photo Challenge: Today was a good day

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_photo_challenge/today-was-a-good-day/

Daily Prompt: But No Cigar

I wanted to repost an old story I wrote. Its a quick and fun read. Enjoy!

UBeCute

Tell us about a time things came this close to working out… but didn’t. What happened next? Would you like the chance to try again, or are you happy with how things eventually worked out?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CLOSE.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/category/daily-prompts/

________

Angels are recruited just like plumbers, craftsmen, teachers, politicians, priests and so forth.

Walk-in interviews are held all over the world in pre-disclosed locations such as bars and restaurants over a glass of beer or wine (whatever your preference).

Intent upon joining the ranks of some well-established Angels such as Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, I walked into the “Blue Wings Dive Bar” on San Vicente, Los Angeles, which as I learned was holding interviews for the position of Junior Angel for Los Angeles.

The bar had a gothic ambience with ominous overtones. It was very dark with tall ceilings, and red roughed out tapestry and wall hangings. A…

View original post 451 more words

Are Toilet scenes trending up?

I love movies. But I rarely sit and watch an entire movie in one sitting (never enough time). I often switch the Television on while working in the kitchen or having dinner. Yes, I know it is a bad idea to watch TV while having dinner. But I do it anyways!

So here is my problem. It is really annoying to cozy up to your Television while enjoying a bite only to be thrown into somebody’s bathroom ritual with the camera zooming in on the Toilet!!! I simply don’t get the fascination of modern movies with toilets!

Is it my imagination or are there a lot more Toilet scenes in the movies these days? Most of the time the Toilet scene adds nothing to the story line. I get the Director’s are trying to build a real-life image…or go for the big laughs, but is another boring Toilet scene the only way? Have you considered creating a more ingenious story line and dialog?

Surely, Hollywood can come up with a few other creative ways to keep audiences engaged. And what with all the reality TV shows where are we going to end if this Toilet fascination continues?

Believe me, I am all in favor of healthy bathroom habits, but I think it’s a private deal. So here is a humble plea to the Director’s and the Censorship Boards of the World.

Cut out the Toilet scenes, PLEASE!!!

Top 10 feel good flicks

Do you have a ritual that always works to get you out of your blues? Is there a book, movie or a spa treatment that will get you to turn your frown upside down in no time? I wanted to start a list of my favorite feel-good flicks. Here are my top 10 fav’s. Can you pick this up by adding a few of yours?

True Lies (1994)
Bridget Jones (Part 1 and 2)
Big trouble in Little China (1986)
Rocky (1976)
He’s just not that into you (2009)
Far and Away (1992)
Miss Congeniality (2000)
The Holiday (2006)
Wedding Crashers (2005)
How to lose a guy in 10 days (2003)

Afloat

True Blue Baby…

The canals at Venice

Aah perfect day for beach!

Catchin some Vitamin D are we?

No Orange here…just shimmering blue!!!

Photo Challenge: Depth

Photo Challenge: Depth

Don’t be a pigeon

When a pigeon sees a cat it closes its eyes. The pigeon thinks that if it cannot see danger, then danger cannot see the pigeon. That’s a fallacy that causes the pigeon to lose its life. Don’t be a pigeon.

Go Go Goa

Goa’s 63 mile long coastline offers a long expanse of exotic beaches. The water is always lukewarm and the sand is soft to touch. The beach is studded with tiny sea shells and starfish. I found it best to enjoy the beaches early in the morning at dawn or around sunset because during the day time the heat is almost unbearable.

The beach is studded with shacks offering visitors both North Indian and South Indian cuisine as well as plenty of seafood.

Unless you are staying at one of five star hotels don’t expect to find the shacks to be glamorous. Personally I loved their rustic beauty. I was never disappointed with the food and the amazing scenery for pennies on the dollar.

A local shack

DSC02696_2015 — A vendor at the local supermarket

I enjoyed going to the local market with my dad and we bought a variety of fruits like passion fruit, pineapple, kiwi, gooseberries, dragon fruit, raspberries and many more. The Goan soil is so fertile it is a haven for fruit and vegetable lovers. Goa grows bananas (sweet as sugar), papayas, coconuts, cashew, sugarcane, bamboo, rice, Pineapples, chilies, betel nuts and much more. The locals also sell homemade coconut oil. While coconut oil is said to have many therapeutic qualities one does need to be conditioned to its smell. Some people may find the smell to be offensive. I am into all kinds of organic beauty products and found coconut oil to be an excellent hair conditioner. I applied it at night and washed out my hair the next morning so I would not reek of coconut oil during the day. The results were very satisfying 😉

Given below are pictures of Tambdi Surla a 12^thcentury Hindu Temple one of the oldest temples in Goa, India. The temple is situated in thick forest and there are small villages surrounding the temple. When I visited Tambdi Surla last year (2014) I was greeted by a flutter of butterflies at the very entrance of the temple. The sight was absolutely unforgettable. It was so sudden and unexpected that I could not even take a picture. This year I was especially looking out for the butterflies but did not find any. I did catch a quick glimpse at these birds flying away the moment our car approached.

Shown here are pictures of St Michael Church Orlim Goa one of the oldest churches in Goa. I loved the austere beauty and serenity of this church. Every second Sunday of October, the little village of Orlim in South Goa brightens up with festive fervor at the St Michael Church. The village feast brings together a crowd of around 2000 locals who attend the service and pray to their patron saint. This year, October 13 will see the feast of St Michael celebrated with joy.

Varca is one of the most touristy beaches in Southern Goa. But in the morning you can have the beach almost to yourself. If you are lucky, you will be able to catch dolphins playing by the shoreline. There is a row of wooden fishing boats seen on the beach that belong to the Christian fishing community.

Sailors pulling a boat filled with fish out of water

Popular beach resorts in Varca include the Radisson White Sands Resort, the Club Mahindra Varca Beach Resort, and Serenity Residency. On the way back there are plenty of small stores where you can shop for clothes, Indian Jewelry, carved furniture, brassware and other souvenir type items if you so choose. Be prepared to bargain. As far as clothes are concerned I found some name stores such as Fab India and Biba to have the best quality products. I enjoyed the Tulsi Chai Masala and sampled some of the beauty products at Fab India (I am a bit of a skin care fanatic and always try out local beauty products everywhere I go!)

Here are some pictures of Miramar Beach, one of the most populous beaches in the capital of Goa: Panjim. This beach is situated at the confluence of Mandovi River and the Arabian Sea. Boat rides offered at very reasonable prices will take you through a pleasant boat ride where you may be able to capture some beautiful coastal scenes as well as water life.

While Goa is beautiful because of its rich history, beautiful beaches, exotic cuisines, lush greenery it is not void of faults. Be prepared to see a lot of trash and waste carelessly discarded by people all over the state. I was surprised to see that the beaches did not even have a single trash can to allow people to discard their waste. I also noticed that visitors carelessly throw their beer bottles on the beach which is a big safety hazard. The government is implementing a much needed “Swach Bharat” (Clean India mission).

Trash discarded carelessly by streets is a common site.

But if you are open to an adventure and an exotic vacation on a tight budget then definitely consider beautiful Goa as your next stop; a haven of natural beauty, a vibrant culture, peace and spirituality.

Something New

Photo Challenge: New

Happy New Year!

We are at the very threshold of entering the year 2015. So Congratulations to fellow bloggers for yet another successful year of Blogging! Ubecute completed its first year of blogging and for that it is extremely grateful to all the followers and supporters of Ubecute for the constant feedback and comments.

Writing is a labor of love that I ignored for way too long until I found my way into blogging. Blogging is like carving out windows into thick cement walls and finding smiling people waving back at you. In my experience, I found blogging to be an excellent way to share my ideas as well as get an opportunity to hear what others are passionate about. It is so heart warming to see the talent that people have and to find an avenue to be able to share one’s talent and personal experiences.

Like all New Years, 2015 is also filled with the element of surprise and dreams. For many of us, New year offers an opportunity to evaluate our efforts and successes for the past year and learn from our mistakes. It is a chance to make New Year resolutions in our attempts to building a brighter future. Like many others, I too make New Year resolutions. Starting a blog was one of my resolutions last year, which I successfully accomplished. According to the free report offered by WordPress, Ubecute was visited 14,000 times in 2014 (first year of publishing). Some of the most visited posts of 2014 were:

This year I resolve to write everyday, even if it means writing absolute gibberish. So what if 15 minutes of effort ends up being nothing more than a crumpled piece of paper ball in my trash can? Nobody needs to see a badly written piece, the effort is aimed at practice and self fulfillment. The act of the labor itself should be more fruitful than the rewards, correct? Well in truth I don’t know. But one thing I have learned in my life is that a small task done repeatedly over a period of time becomes a habit. And any habit performed consistently over the years has a cumulative effect; good or bad (depending upon the habit itself).

I therefore welcome you to join me in my endeavors. Let me know if you would like to be a guest blogger on Ubecute or simply resolve to writing more frequently? I welcome well written articles on self help. I enjoy and appreciate personal experiences of triumph over hardship, research articles on how to lead a happier and more fulfilled life and everything beautiful and poetic.

If you prefer feel free to write your own post and simply link to my site for articles of similar interests.

I wish you a very Happy 2015 and may God bless!

Venice Beach – California!

Reach Higher, Reach for your Spirit. By Rumi

Muscle Beach

This is the same gym that Arnold Schwarzenegger worked out at

Store at Venice Beach

I love all the Art and quirky stores here

A man leaving home after a day surfing

I went to pick up a smoothie At Juice crafter’s, and saw this random but meaningful message.

“Forgive Others, not because they deserve Forgiveness, but because you deserve Peace”.

Strike a pose and Selfie

Making the world a happier place one selfie at a time

Since the past few years, Social Media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr have been flooded with selfies from around the world. So pronounced was the usage of the word alone, that Oxford Dictionary announced “Selfie” as the word of the year 2013. Not only does Internet abound with selfies of famous stars and politicians but almost anyone who owns a smartphone or webcam has at some point taken at least one “selfie” and in most cases several. There are reports of toddlers taking selfies as well as more disturbing accounts of people taking selfies with the deceased in caskets at funerals. Thanks to the ease of use; taking a selfie and posting it on social media has made it a worldwide phenomenon. Oxford’s editors say use of the word alone has gone up a staggering 17,000% in the past year. (http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/11/18/selfie-named-word-of-the-year-2013/3634727/)

Our fascination with the use and prevalence of “selfie” may define the millennia’s self-indulging and narcissistic fascination with self. But the concept of a selfie is nothing new. A visit to any Museum or classical Art gallery will confirm that selfies are as old as art itself. Artists have tried to create both artistic and realistic portraits of themselves in paintings and sculptures. Some notable artists who created self-portraits are Jan Van Eyck’s, Leonardo da Vinci, Rembrandt, Paul Cezanne, Peter Parler, Henri Rousseau, Jean Fouquet, Van Gogh and many more. Artists have used all forms of medium to create portraits that actually help us chronicle history better today.

Posting a selfie on social media is the common man’s instant claim to fame. By a simple click of the button, one can share a selfie with the world and almost instantly start receiving hundreds of likes.

And what’s wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. Just as long as you do it in fun and don’t get too self-engrossed with yourself and your selfie. So go on, Smile and Selfie!

Thanksgiving 2014; The 10 things I am most grateful for

Yes I know, Thanksgiving was day before on 28^th November, 2014. We just moved into a new location so we spent all of Thanksgiving and the long weekend packing, unpacking and settling into the new place. Until today I did not even have Internet set up at my new place. Moves are always hard; both physically and mentally. But change in itself is always positive or so we hope.

While it is hard to live out of cardboard boxes for a week or so, it is nice to get a chance to dig into the mountains of baggage one has accumulated over the years and do a thorough spring cleaning (literally and metaphorically speaking). After a long time I took a look at my closet and saw all the clothes, beauty products, hair products, vitamins, household goods, handicrafts and decorations that I never really used, and so I decided to box them up for Salvation Army. So this thanksgiving I took a resolve to be more vigilant while buying. Here is my resolve for future, “Buy little at a time, and buy only what you absolutely need.”

But Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks, rather than lessons learned, correct? Well, here are the 10 things I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving. God bless them all!

I am grateful for wonderful parents: No matter whether I am doing well or badly in life, whether I am healthy or under the weather, the one thing I am always and forever grateful to God for is having the best set of parents I could ever ask for!!!!

I truly must have done something great in my past life to deserve wonderful parents like I have. When I was young someone told me that a child needs parents physiologically but a grown-up needs parents emotionally. I could not agree more with that person. While as a child, I may have needed my parents to care and provide for me, growing up I have realized how fortunate I am to have two beautiful people in my life as my parents. These are the kind of people that I would have fallen in love with for their kindness and seasoned intellect even if there weren’t my parents. While I am on the subject I want to clarify that my parents are not the adulating parents who fawn over their children and talk endlessly about them, condoning all their faults. Infact my parents are my toughest critics. They always tell me when I was in the wrong and are tough on me when I fail to do my best. They did not care whether I was the best in my class or not, they just wanted me to be the best I could be. But most importantly, they showed me that there are two sides to a coin and it is important to look at everything from the other person’s perspective. This has helped me see the good in everyone and accept the weakness in myself. It teaches one to be humble and accept life more openly.

I am grateful for my family: There is truly nothing more saddening than having to spend the holidays alone by yourself. I am so grateful to God for having a loving husband and such a happy dog. My dog Ziggy is one of the purest souls. He teaches me that the happiest souls are the simplest souls and that if you wish to find love you need to give love. From my husband I have learned the art of being organized and living in the “present”. Although admittedly it is not an art I have fully yet grasped. Because when I look at myself critically, I am most guilty of either living in the past or always dreaming about the future. I rarely ever live in the moment. From my husband, I have also learned to enjoy the best in life. When it comes to shopping for myself, I always cut corners. That doesn’t mean I don’t buy enough for myself, it just mean I just don’t buy the “best” my money can afford. This mentality costs me more in the long run. Also subconsciously you train your mind to accept less than the best. I enjoy my husband’s mentality to buy the best his money can afford and enjoy it thoroughly.
I am grateful for my sister: I am also very grateful for my wonderful sister and all the conversations I share with her. From my childhood she played a key role in shaping my personality and influenced me to be more outgoing. She helped me work hard on my people skills by promoting me to take part in elocutions, debates, school plays and even writing competitions. Her never dying faith in me has helped me have more faith in myself even when the going got tough.
I am grateful for my job: I am grateful for having a good job with great colleagues that I can learn so much from. And yes, we may not be family and there is a healthy competition at workplace, it helps me to always keep my skills up to date. I am grateful to have a job that not only brings bread and butter to my table but I get to do what I enjoy and am good at.
I am grateful for having a roof on my head: There is nothing better than coming home after a long day at work. And if you have to drive the 405 you will definitely understand the concept of stress! I am also thankful for the Californian weather, the beach and the lush greenery around me. I love to take my dog for a walk in the morning and see humming birds sucking the nectar out of the chrysanthemum’s in the park outside. That alone is enough to brighten any day!
I am grateful for good health: When I was in pre-school my English teacher would make us write endless pages of cursive writing in the hopes that it would improve our penmanship. It never did anything to salvage mine. I sometimes have a hard time reading my own hand. But one thing it did do for me is that I learned a lot of nice sayings. See the thing is she would give us a saying and ask us to write it repeatedly for pages. It was sheer drudgery. The reason I am sharing the story is because one of the sayings I learned by heart was, “A cow hath its tail until lost”. I never really understood what it meant until I was much older. To me health is exactly like a cow’s tail. You take it for granted until you have lost it. All the joys of the world become meaningless the moment you don’t have health. Even something as simple as a house cold can bring a strong man to his knees. I am grateful for my health and will persevere to keep it by exercising, eating healthy and keeping stress at bay.
I am grateful for good experiences: I am truly fortunate to have had so many great opportunities to visit the world since my childhood. Visiting new places and learning bits and pieces of foreign languages really opens the vistas of the mind. When I look back at my life, I know I have travelled a long way and had a sleuth of experiences.
I am grateful for getting the best of two worlds: When I look at the news and see so much injustice and inequality around us, I cannot help thanking God for being fortunate enough to be born in a country like India which teaches you the importance of culture while training you to strive hard to maintain your independence and right to speech. I then moved to US (about fifteen years ago) and found USA to be one of the safest places for a woman to grow and flourish. I respect America for giving everyone an opportunity to succeed as long as they work hard. So today I cannot but thank God for the country of my birth and the country of my choice. Forever, I shall be indebted to the two countries.
I am grateful for providence: When I look back at my life, I feel convinced that there is a higher power in play. Every time I have been in a fix and did not know how to get out of it, someone or something practically turned at my door step to help me in the form of a friendly advice, an offer of help, or even just inner strength that I did not know I had. As a young student in America, I was happily surprised by the kindness of absolute strangers, who treated me with so much love and kindness. I am grateful to my school that took care to provide an excellent community to its International students. I am grateful to all those wonderful people and send them bouquets of love.
Lastly I am grateful for this blog: Yes, I am grateful to Ubecute as blogging helps me get out of the daily grind, even if just for a while. When I post an article and get comments from other bloggers or people on the web, it is like opening doors and windows in space and having happy loving faces peering back at me. I am grateful to my colleague who suggested I write a blog and my sister who pushed me to maintain it.

*Deep breath*. I practically wrote the 10 things above, in one breath. Now, that I have given my thanks, feel free to drop me a line and tell me what you are most thankful for? And don’t forget to pingback to Ubecute with your own Thanksgiving post.

A very Happy Thanksgiving all year round!

Photo challenge: Angular

Qutub Minar, New Delhi

Skin deep portrayal of women

ClassicWomanPhoto — Courtesy: http://www.pinterest.com/sdromisky/classic-women-vargas-girls-to-audrey/

We live in a world where more is less and less is never enough. Commercials on TV and web abound selling us dreams of a life that would be impossible to achieve without these products. Likewise, markets are flooded with merchandise that promise beauty in a jar, a killer body by consuming weight loss pills, a great social life by virtue of sporting an expensive handbag and so forth. Movies and TV shows feature stars that are embodiments of perfection itself. Every year the bar for perfection is set just a notch higher thanks to the pressures of media and marketing. Unfortunately, material goods and outwardly appearances alone can only provide fleeting satisfaction. Is it any wonder then that more and more men and women feel the pressure of being less than perfect?

When our image of ourselves is based not by who we are inside, but how others perceive us, how are we to find happiness? In US alone, more than 19 million people suffer from depression out of which nearly twice as many women as men suffer from depression every year. Depression is even more common amongst young people. Although both men and women may feel the pressure of society, surveys suggest that women are more susceptible to feelings of insufficiency and low self-esteem. Could it be that sometimes we are our own worst enemies? Women are notorious for being unfairly critical of themselves. Young impressionable women are constantly exposed to ads showing thin, well-proportioned models that are not only beautiful to start with, but these pictures are also photo- shopped after. Women who are more likely to make upward comparisons with these extraordinary portrayals of feminine beauty may end up feeling less than attractive.

Movies abound where men are attracted to a woman who is not only stunningly beautiful but practically a wonder woman. She is an excellent career woman during the day and then in the evening she will change her Business suit for a sleek gown showing her perfectly chiseled body. She will then jump on the stage flip her hair and make an impromptu performance that would put the Spice girls to shame. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against a multi-talented woman. In truth, most of the women I know are really nothing short of amazing. They are excellent career women, great moms, perfect daughters, loving wives, sisters and friends in need.

My problem is merely with the portrayal of women in mass media. Such roles set high standards of expectation. The criteria for attractiveness just keeps becoming impossible to achieve while becoming more and more shallow. If the average American woman is 5’4” and 140 pounds why do we have actresses representing them who are 5’11” and 120 pounds? Why can’t we have more role models with less than “perfect” looks? Why are feminine characters in most movies, so two-dimensional and focused on their physical attractiveness?

In truth the portrayal of women as nothing short of “wonder women” is exacerbated by the fact that we women are tough critiques of our achievements and accomplishments. The ABC’s series “Ugly Betty” hinges on the portrayal of an attractive yet less than glamorous Betty fighting to make her mark in the glamour world while fighting her own self esteem issues caused by how her peers perceive her. To me, ‘Ugly Betty’ is a classic example of a regular working girl in today’s world. I am waiting for the media world to take more risks and start creating flesh and blood characters where women like men are valued as characters rather than their physical and sexual appeal.

What do you live for?

Most of us meander through life without ever really asking this question. We let life lead us where it will. Yet there are a few enlightened individuals amongst us, who not only know what they want but they know that no amount of material wealth and comfort will quench their thirst for knowledge and truth. Such people are in search of truth of the highest order. Henry David Thoreau (July 12, 1817 – May 6, 1862) was one such person; an American author, poet, philosopher and an activist. He is best known for his book Walden a reflection on back to the basics ideology which he promoted throughout his life.

WaldenPond_7 — Walden Pond – Concord, Massachusetts

Walden Pond is a scenic and peaceful lake in Concord, Massachusetts said to have been formed by retreating glaciers thousands of years ago. Every time, I visit this lake, I revel in the secret hope that I am probably walking the same path, breathing the same air, and feasting my eyes on the same beauty that once made Thoreau fall in love. “Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads”, said Thoreau of Walden Pond.

Thoreau needed to concentrate on his writing which is why he decided to embark on a two year and two month experiment at “simple living” near Walden Pond in the summer of 1845. An account which Thoreau records extensively in his book “Walden, Life in the woods”. He believed that truth can be found in literature or in nature. He himself obtained pleasures as much in the ringing of the church bells as in the hooting of the owls or the croaking of the frogs. In his book, Thoreau mentions he took to the woods because he wanted a life away from social obligations and social relationships that “mail (or post office)” represent. I cannot help but wonder what he would say if he were to visit our lives today where a cellphone has almost become a part of human anatomy? Or what would he have to say to us all who happily over dose on social media and the World Wide Web on a daily basis but never find a moment for introspection or self-reflection?

WaldenPond_1 — A replica of Thoreau’s cabin at Walden Pond

WaldenPond_2 — Thoreau spared himself the very basic amenities which he has disclosed in his book Walden

WaldenPond_3 — A statue of Thoreau outside the cabin

Thoreau persisted in simplifying his life and believed inner peace and contentment cannot be found in material goods. The replica of the wooden cabin where he spared himself the most basic of amenities to sustain human life is testimony to his simple life. Although today his book is considered to be a signature book on the preservationist way of life, in its day it only sold about 2000 copies in five years. Today we know Thoreau as one of the foremost American writers famous for his prose, style and views on nature and politics. His views on politics and especially his philosophy of civil disobedience was said to have influenced and inspired notable figures such as Leo Tolstoy, Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King.

In his book Walden, Thoreau mentions, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”

He then continues to explain exactly what he truly wanted out of life with these super charged words,

“I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience.”

I can’t help but feel charged by these powerful words of a man who truly wanted nothing less than the absolute truth and was willing to pay a price for it. What is truly impressive about great human beings like Thoreau is not simply the depth and honesty of their beliefs but the courage and conviction to follow their dreams no matter where it may take them.

Thoreau in his own words said,

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

Walden: Or, Life in the Woods (Above Quote Courtesy of: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/2361393-walden)

Early morning at Walden Pond: Is this the morning that inspired Thoreau to write his poems?

Sun peeking through the thick foliage

Cairns

Specious blossoms

Walden Pond – New Hampshire

Family

Here is a photo reblogged from ALK3R, check out his original blog on http://alk3r.wordpress.com. It is an amazing blog and the pictures are absolutely breathtaking.

The story of a girl who never looked back

This post is dedicated to sharing the true story of a young woman, who through her continued efforts, and her “never give up” attitude, is an absolute inspiration and testimony of the insurmountable power of human will. Part of what makes this story so special is because it hits so close to home and the other part because it proves how life teaches us to do extraordinary things even in the face of the worst of adversities and mishaps.

We have all heard of the inspiring stories of great personalities like Hellen Keller, Marlee Matlin, Christopher Reeve, Franklin Roosevelt and other such famous personalities, this however is a story of an ordinary person who continues to achieve extraordinary achievements in face of some trying difficulties.

I can never forget the night I first met Shivani Gupta. Shivani was my sister’s classmate and they had just turned twenty two and recently completed their Bachelor degree in Hotel Management. Shivani had thrown a party at her house, and was over at ours, to pick my sister for the party. It was the first time I was meeting Shivani, and I was instantly enamored by her, not just because she is an absolutely lovely girl, but because she has such a larger than life personality. She was the cheeriest person I met, and the moment she walked in, she met us all as if we were old friends. I believe such is her charm, because Shivani meets everyone with so much vigor and joy, it’s as though she is telling the world, and “Here I am!”

That night the car that my sister and Shivani were traveling in (on way to the party) met with an accident and Shivani was dislodged out of the car and thrown onto the road outside. She was immediately taken to a hospital and received emergency care. The next morning the doctors declared the accident had rendered Shivani a paraplegic from the neck downward.

It is unfathomable how a single night can change life forever. From a young girl, ready to take the world in her stride, she had to learn to gain her mobility and freedom back. Through all the physical pain and mental anguish, somehow Shivani pulled the strength to not only follow her dreams but she continues to amaze her friends and family by taking her dreams further every day. Life again threw her a curve ball when years later she met with another motor accident and lost the love of her life – her husband. However it is through her strong spirit and iron-will that she persevered and decided to write the story of her life in a very positive and inspirational book called “No Looking back”.

Since the accident Shivani has been a strong proponent for improving accessibility for handicaps in India she is the recipient of several awards such as Helen Keller Award (2008), CavinKare Ability Master Award (2008), National Role Model Award (2004), Neerja Bhanot Award (2004), Red and White Bravery Award (1999) and Sulabh International Woman of the Year Award (1996). She has also co-authored several books published by the Government on the issue of accessibility for the differently abled, which is a book used by architects and designers.

Shivani is also the founder for AccessAbility; a consultancy firm for promoting physical accessibility in India. While Shivani continues to work at spreading awareness for promoting equal opportunities for the disabled in India, she continues to be open to writing, and would like to write a PhD thesis in the near future. In a recent interview, when asked what the driving force was for her towards becoming the leading accessibility consultants in India, Shivani responded,

“Life is not easy for anybody but it has been more challenging for me. The most important thing that drove me to not give up was my desire to be independent and self-reliant. It is only after becoming disabled that I realized the value and importance of independence in my life. It may seem just like a regular aspect of life to most people but as a disabled person, I have struggled each day to maintain it. Being self-reliant became a second nature to me. After my second accident, I had no other option except to continue being so. Sitting back broken in spirit was just not an option.”

There is a lot more to Shivani’s story that cannot be shared in this small post, my hope is simply that we may all learn and be inspired by the truly great people amongst us. Life deals us all with a hand of cards, to which we have no control, but in the end the winners are people who don’t waste time regretting the cards they were dealt with, but go out and make the best of everything they got. If you are interested in learning more about Shivani, feel free to check her book, “No Turning Back” now on amazon.

It’s a wine thing!

Not too long ago I visited Malibu Wines which is a beautiful winery that offers wine tasting options along with a sunny outdoor locale. The best part about this place is the setting which offers an amazing view to the valley (very picturesque). They welcome you to pack yourself a picnic and order wine from here, it makes for an excellent time. Enjoy the pictures!

20140817_122129 — This is not an empty wine bottle. Its how they serve water. 🙂

Inspired by Weekly Photo Challenge

Fray

Here is a glimpse of Goa in Monsoons. Thanks to the rains, nature has OD’d (overdosed) on colors. These pictures were shared to me by my sister who recently visited Goa. I thought these pictures suited perfectly for this week’s Photo Challenge.

Photos courtesy Viraj Thakur

India Trip 515 — A beautiful view of palm trees

India Trip 681 — Fisherman’s boat parked on the shore

India Trip 523 — Blue insect against the backdrop of green moss

Time for another collection

M-R shared some ridiculously cute pictures. I think these little guys will make your day. Enjoy!

Falling in love

Maybe one day I shall become a poet,
and write a book. Each page will be
enjambed with my tongue.
I shall publish it on recycled paper
and leave plenty of space in the margin
for your notes.

When you chose to relax
with a glass of wine, open my
book & like a dolphin dive in.
Leaving splashes of my words on
your couch.

Do not swim just sink into my poem
and let the music fill the pores of your soul.
For here my reader, my lover you will be
safe forever…

Road to Discovery

I wanted to feel the thrill of the wild zinging through my teeth, so I pulled up fragments of survival into a backpack, enough to keep Sequoia hospitable for a week. And set off backpacking with a group of four, towards the Alpine zone. The deeper we receded into the woods the harder it got staying on the trail. The storms the week before had done a nasty job of hiding the trails.

I must have failed to keep pace with the rest of the pack, for I found myself farther and farther away until the distant heads vanished into the thickness of foliage. Before long instead of following a team of four, I found myself breaking trail through un-trampled greens. The map no longer fit the terrain, the trails were completely disguised with the havoc the storm had caused and there were fallen trees everywhere. As the sun dimmed its intensity, my hurried footsteps got more and more confused. One wrong turn led to another, and before I knew it, I was lost.

Night in the woods descends like a mighty eagle with its wings outstretched. Darkness is sudden and complete. There is no comforting light peering through embroidered curtains, or a mechanical buzz from the kitchen fridge, a sprinkler sputtering off at night, friendly chatter of the TV in the background, or the familiar clatter of silver ware and plates at dinner time. Instead there is the loud rhythmic thump of your heart beating against your ear drums. There are other disturbing noises intensified by the silence of the night. Like the rustling of leaves nearby, a sudden cry that resembles a baby shrieking except it is not, a howl, a hoot and an unnerving pair of yellow eyes watching from the distance…

A small shaking flashlight in hand and a poor job of a tent later I find myself strangely secure. It occurs to me that a human’s most fetal need is the need for security no matter how frail the promise of security may be. Thankfully, the fatigue from the day wraps its sleep laden hands around my neck and drowns me into deep slumber. For two days I hike senselessly around the green corridors of tall trees losing my way constantly. Until several miles, an abandoned baby stroller, broken shards of beer bottles, disbanded backpacks, and several cairns later I am convinced that I am well on the road to discovery.

The search team must have been thick on its trail, for it isn’t long before I hear myself scream, hands flailing like turbines in the wind. As two distant flashes of light glimmer like twin candles in the thick of the night swiftly growing in size.

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

– Calvin Coolidge

The wealthiest Man

A breezy autumn afternoon, and a long drive back home. We were returning from a long trip with our extended family; aunts, uncles, cousins and all. In those days there were miles and miles of farmland even on the outskirts of Delhi which is now a pockmarked cement jungle. We were all exhausted from our long journey, so we decided to stop and stretch a while at one of the sugarcane farms on our way back home.

The village had a lazy aura to it. It felt as though the environment was drunk on the sweetness of the cane fields. The yellow-green rows of cane plantation reminded you of long siestas under the balmy sun that promise never to end. A bullock-cart passed by carrying a farmer and his family Tok, Tok, Tok. A vendor on a wooden cart squeezed a tall glass of green sugar cane juice adding a dash of fresh ginger, salt, lemon and ice upon request.

An old thin farmer in a white dhoti and a shawl wrapped around him, squatted on the side walk with a bunch of other villagers. His was not the face of a youthful, carefree man who has yet to experience the toils of life. Instead, his face was the color of dark caramel etched with wrinkles. He had the intelligence of experience and a carefree resignation that comes from knowing, “it will all turn out okay in the end.” After a hard day’s work at the farm, I doubt he ever had to spend his nights tossing and turning trying to sleep. A good night’s sleep is often the understated reward of occupations that require handwork and sweat.

I was probably nine or ten at the time and most of my cousins were even younger than me. We were all very tired and needed a break. My parents asked the farmer if we could stop for a while at his field. He welcomed us enthusiastically, and showed us the way to a cool spot under a tree and offered us water. Then he took the shawl off his back and spread it on the ground for us to sit. And without a warning ran off into his field to pick us some of his ripest produce. Meanwhile, the kids started to create a hullaballoo playing tag and doing what kids do best; creating a racket! Nobody sat down, children were running everywhere and soon enough the poor farmer’s shawl was stamped with tiny boot marks. Thankfully, my aunt chided the kids, picked up the farmer’s shawl and folded it into a neat bundle. By the time the farmer came back, we were hungrily devouring the lunch we had brought with us. We offered the old man to join us, but he refused. It was probably one of the best meals I ever enjoyed. The inviting breeze on our faces and the incessant gossip of the country birds; what five star hotel could beat this ambience? For dessert we enjoyed a sampling of freshly picked sugarcane the farmer had brought us. I know our parents thanked the farmer heartily for his hospitality and insisted he accept money as a small gift, but he refused outright.

Children are so impressionable. It’s been decades since that day and yet it is still fresh in my memory. As far as I am concerned this farmer who took off his shawl and placed it on the ground for us to sit, was the richest man I have ever had the fortune of meeting. Wealth is not measured by a bank balance or the number of houses and cars one owns, it is simply a state of being. To be truly wealthy means to be so sufficient that you are happy to share your riches without the worry of losing them. And who could be wealthier than this old farmer who would share the shawl off his back with absolute strangers? As you will agree, even though the world is full of rich people there are few who are truly wealthy. Such people live on a different plane from the rest of us. Each experience etching an indelible wrinkle of serenity in their hearts, deepening their belief that, “it will all work out ok in the end”. So that when it’s time to go to bed, it’s simply ‘lights out’.

The great Arizona Outback

There are counted few moments in everyone’s life when you feel like you are in the midst of something so grandiose and majestic that it’s almost surreal. If you have visited the Red Rock Mountains or the world-famous Grand Canyon in Arizona then you probably know what I am talking about?

Recently we drove to Arizona, on an arduously long drive (8 hour-long drive to be exact). By the time we reached Sedona we were thoroughly beat, and the rear end of our anatomy was crying out loud in pain. However the moment we entered Sedona we started seeing the picturesque Red Rock hills that assured us that our long odyssey was indeed worth all the pain.

The Schnebly Hill formation which is a major component of the Red Rocks of Sedona are sedimentary rock formations that were created 300 million years ago, in part by the erosion caused by sea and in part shaped by the sand blown in from coastal area beaches. The color of the rocks ranges a varied hue of white, tan, orange and bold red. Furthermore, erosion from flowing waters have created famous hills that have been named after their unique shapes such as Cathedral Rock, Bell Rock, Kissing Rock, Big Bear, Coffee Pot Rock and so on. It sounds like almost everyone who looked at these Rocks had their own interpretation of the shape and coined a name for them.

Here are some pictures to quench your appetite for this insanely beautiful Red Rock country. Feel free to play “I spy” and identify the rocks by their names if you can. But beware pictures just don’t do justice to this natural marvel.

The pink Jeep tours in Sedona are an absolute must and the experienced drivers will show you some spots that are extremely hard and dangerous to reach by hiking. The Jeep tour is a little adventure in itself, because it tours through some really rough and hilly terrain. There were a few moments when the jeep was angled perpendicular to the earth nose-diving straight down or straight up so that I must admit my heart missed a few beats. But rest assured it is perfectly safe and guaranteed fun. One of my favorite hills was what they called the “chicken point” so named because the faint of heart would offer to get off the jeep before reaching it. The view from the Rock is insanely beautiful and it feels cool and refreshingly breezy in comparison to the other spots. As far as I am concerned any vortex could not be more peaceful and serene than this place is.

So what is a vortex? Vortexes are places that create positive, negative or neutral releases of the Earth’s energy and evoke balance. I believe, places like people have an aural energy and invoke emotions that are unique and personal to everyone; especially historic places such as Sedona.

Although this hasn’t really been proven, Sedona is considered to be pregnant with “hot spots” or vortexes that are supposed to have a great healing, relaxation and rejuvenation properties.

Looking at how dry and arid this place is, it is almost impossible to believe that this land used to be under water. The best time to visit Sedona is in spring or fall and is way too hot in June (as we can testify first hand). Most of the hiking is best done in the wee hours of the morning. I thought even as early as 10 AM the heat was already too oppressive to warrant any real hiking. The best thing to do by noon is to find a pool and relax with a glass of wine or visit the open market.

Sedona has rows of art galleries, exquisite art shops, restaurants, resorts and of course the historic Tlaquepaque Arts and Crafts village. Unfortunately the village was already closed when we reached and there was private party going on at the time, so we could not really enjoy it, but from the looks of it, it is a delightful hang out.

On our way back to Los Angeles, we visited the Grand Canyon. The Canyon is the very definition of grandiose. This 277 miles long and 1 mile deep canyon reminds you of a gigantic monster sleeping with its mouth gaping open. The canyon is so wide that you can’t even take a picture that would cover the entire width of the canyon (unless you have the advantage of shooting from a helicopter). A look at this “wonder of the world” makes you see yourself in a different perspective; a mere speck in the grand scheme of life. It makes you mindful not only of the fragility of human life but the shallowness and insignificance of humanly worries and troubles.

Millions of people visit the Grand Canyon every year. It is a Mecca for the brave of heart who backpack their way to the Phantom Ranch inside the womb of the Canyon. This hike is certainly not for the faint of heart and numerous books have been written accounting the accidents that have taken place in the Canyon. However those who dare, will certainly be rewarded with an unforgettable experience and superb photography opportunities. Sadly, I am not one of them. I enjoyed the overwhelming beauty of the Canyon from the comforting safety of the South rim which is what 90% of travelers do.

Arizona has left such an indelible mark on me, that I am sure this won’t be my last visit. Who knows next time I will be one of the back packers trekking my way down the winding, path into the belly of this giant monster called the Grand Canyon or hiking my way to the top of the Devil’s Bridge. Here’s to Arizona! Ditat Deus!

Photo Challenge

Arizona 2014 160 Arizona 2014 117 Arizona 2014 115 Arizona 2014 106 Arizona 2014 105 Arizona 2014 092 Arizona 2014 034 Arizona 2014 088

Blind Trust

It was a humid, sultry night. Smell of spices and burning charcoal filled the streets. The hawkers gathered their wares closing in on their busy days as the sun set on the old, pious town in Karauli, Rajasthan, twenty years ago.

A little girl holding her mama’s hand, gets off the train and boards a bus full of strangers. The long day sits heavy on her eyelids but she is trying to stay awake as she knows she must. The smell of incense wafts the air like a prayer. A thin old man is singing a country folklore. His milky eyes glazed over, rolled up as if in prayer and his voice is like the soft murmur of water flowing downhill on a shallow pebbled, river bed. In his hands he carries a wooden box of incense. A small black cloth pouch hangs off his right hand to collect money. He stops briefly at every seat, giving the passengers a chance to buy his incense. Lightly touching the seats as he passes for sense of direction and balance.
Mama does not need incense but she buys some anyways and dutifully drops something in his pouch, making a tiny jingle. The old man nods and moves on.

When he is done he goes to the front of the bus and stands next to the driver to finish his song. Some of the passengers have joined him in his chant, others clap in tune. The bus draws to a halt at the next stop and the old man intuitively gets down and leaves.

The little girl tugs her mama’s hand and asks if the blind man will find his way. Her mother nods, “Yes,he will. I have seen him selling incense, since I was as old as you. He always find his way”. The girl smiles back wanly, wide awake now. The bus drives to a rest house and the two of them get out.

“But what if someone cheats him mama?” she continues clearly concerned. “What if someone steals his incense and does not pay him? He can’t see, won’t it be easy to cheat him?” Mama shakes her head and says, “No, they won’t my darling. Trust is blind…”

It’s been twenty years since that day, I never had a chance to visit that town again. Yet, I remember the day as if it happened yesterday. Memory is like a strange box, that can preserve random incidents forever, while the most lucid, current experiences escape it like air. I don’t know what happened to that old incense seller. I trust he lived a long and peaceful life.

A lot changes in twenty years. Today, trust and faith are commodities hard to come by. Yet I do believe that sometimes it is better to trust and be cheated than lead a life with the doors and windows of your heart closed. When I find myself helpless and in doubt, I remind myself of my mama’s words; trust is blind and faith fills our hearts like incense.

Abstract Expressionism: Bubble Gum Alley

Bubble gum alley is a local tourist attraction in San Luis Obispo. A 70 foot long alley covered with bubble gums left by passers-by. Gross? Maybe… The tradition of sticking bubble gums in this alley started soon after WWII, by high school students and has continued to this day.

This wall is testimony to the fact that sometimes small, random acts performed unwittingly by a few people can take the form of bigger traditions over time.

Extra, Extra

my pictures 057 Photo Challenge: Extra, Extra

The Power of SMALL

Success involves making a series of small incremental efforts over a long period. I am always wary of people who offer a secret mantra as a permanent solution to all problems. The truth of the matter is that there is no one magic bullet that will cure all evils, solve all your problems, and change your life around permanently. If you want to dream big, then learn the power of “small”.

Small efforts bring big results: If you want to write the next great American novel, then you will have to write it one page at a time. Your first draft may look nothing like the novel you will end up writing eventually, but making small improvements will add up in the end. Breaking a big task into smaller tasks makes your goals attainable.

If you want to change a bad habit then change it slowly. A lot of people try to break a bad habit overnight. It took you years to grow that habit and make it a part of your life, how can you expect to break it overnight?

If you are trying to lose weight for instance, will you consider losing all the weight in a day by crash dieting and exercising all day at the gym? If you did that, chances are over-exercising will cause you to injure your muscles or worse still break a bone and throw you out of track for weeks.

If for instance you are trying to improve your vocabulary, then reading the entire Webster dictionary in a weekend is not going to yield positive results in the long run. If you cannot fully capture and understand the meaning of the words you are learning you are sure to forget them eventually. Instead of planning to read the whole dictionary in a matter of weeks, try to make a more reasonable plan and then stick with it. Even if you learn nothing more than one word a day, by the end of the year you would have learned 365 new words, which is at least 365 words better than nothing!

To share a personal story, for years I have tried to tap into my creative juices by waking up at 5:00AM and writing. Unfortunately try as I will, until recently, I never succeeded at waking up at 5AM or if I did, I would go through my day tired and groggy. The next day, I would fall back into my regular schedule of waking up at 6:00AM instead. I could not change my pattern until my mother advised me to try making a small change to my schedule rather than a big sudden change. Instead of waking up at 5:00AM, she suggested, I try to wake up at 5:45AM (just 15 minutes before my usual time), which is much more doable for me. I know 15 minutes is not much, but it is still fifteen extra minutes that allow me to focus on whatever it is I want to do that day. When utilized properly, just fifteen extra minutes a day over a period can make all the difference between mediocrity and excellence and quantifies the power of “SMALL.”

People who are rich will often tell you that the secret to making it big is not only about making more money, but saving the money that you already make, and then making intelligent investments. If you cannot save too much, then just start it small. If for instance, you can only save $100/= every month, then by the end of the year you are $1200/= richer than before. Investing even that small amount wisely will bear dividends over a long period. Often the difference between successful and unsuccessful people is simply, that successful people realize the value of small improvements.

Sustainability is key: Remember the story of the turtle and the hare? The turtle was a lot slower than the hare, and yet it was the turtle, not the hare that eventually won the race. It wasn’t the speed, but the consistency that helped the turtle win the race. Remember, people who achieve success do so by making consistent efforts over time. Self improvement is not a weekly or monthly goal; it is a lifelong pursuit. If you want to get good at playing the clarinet for instance, then you will have to make a commitment to spending the time honing your skill every day.

Dangers of the Faustus syndrome: Remember Doctor Faustus from Christopher Marlowe’s famous play “The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus,” who sold his soul to the devil to gain instant ultimate knowledge?Doctor Faustus’s fault was not his desire for knowledge, but his avarice to pay any price for it. In truth, we all have a bit of Doctor Faustus in us, in that we wish to achieve our dreams overnight. Beware of Doctor Faustus syndrome; it does not bring happy endings in fiction or in real life.

Conquer your Donut: Are you one of those perfectionists who believe that whatever you do should be top-notch, or why do it? There is nothing wrong with aspiring for the skies, as long as you realize that to fly high; you will still need to take off from the ground.If you are learning to cook for instance, don’t expect to put Rachel Ray to shame with your very first concoction.

Have you ever gone on a healthy diet, only to find yourself getting tempted by a donut? And since you indulged in that one donut you felt so disheartened you completely gave in to your cravings and decided to start your diet another day? Donuts are evil. Don’t let a donut ruin your resolve. “All or nothing” attitudes are counterproductive and take us away from our goals. If you gave in to your indulgence, so what you still have the rest of the day to make up for it. Get back on track to achieving your goals. Conquer your donut!

Don’t aim to do it right the first time: I know that sounds so counter intuitive let me explain. In a self development course I took long ago, we were trained to “do it right the first time.” The concept being that the cost of fixing a mistake is a lot higher than doing it right the first time. While the concept is absolutely correct in theory, how many of us are born with skills that will allow us to do it right the first time, every time? How many of us are born with golfing skills, for instance, that allow us to win a “hole in one”? Sure getting the hole in one, will save a lot of time and effort, but is that always feasible? And should one never attempt to do a task for the fear of getting it wrong? There may be a handful of geniuses coupled with a few lucky strokes out there that will get a hole in one, but for the majority of us, our “hole in one” may require hundreds of shots.

I am not sure why the power of small eludes us? A child first learns to kick its feet before it learns to crawl. The child will then learn to grab on to things to try to stand up before it learns to walk and eventually run. Yet as grownups, we forget life’s elemental lessons and wish to run before learning to kick. Knowledge and skill grow at a gradual pace; these are not lotteries one can win at Vegas. Start it small, take it slow and continue making your efforts consistently. Sooner or later it is these small efforts that will bring BIG results.

Weekly Photo Challenge: (Split-second story)

Alcatraz

Split Second Story

Homelessness: A sad truth

Homelessness

East or West Home is the best! No matter where we are; be it in the comforts of a friend’s home or a luxurious guest house, at the end of the day when we are tired from our long sojourns we all crave the comforts of our own home. The joy and reassurance that comes from being under the safe confines of one’s home are incomparable to anything else in the world.

But imagine a life, where you did not have a “home” to go back to? Imagine having to face the forces of nature as well as the scorn of other humans by having to sleep the nights curled up in back alleyways, tunnels and subways. Imagine having to scour other people’s trash for fulfilling one’s basic needs.

I know it is not a pleasant thought, and I apologize about asking you to imagine it. Unfortunately for a lot of people this is not an imagination, it is an unfortunate reality. Homelessness is more rampant that we care to admit. And although we see a lot more homeless men, the truth is that women, children as well as entire families are often caught into the throes of homelessness.

Here is a picture of a homeless woman crossing a major intersection that caught my attention this morning. It seemed to me that the bags in her hand that she was so passionately pulling across the street possibly constituted her sole possession in life.

Unlike popular belief, homeless people are not homeless because of choice or by birth. More and more people join the homeless numbers every year, due to some unfortunate events.

According to the Homeaid.org website there are many causes for homelessness. Homelessness can be caused by “tragic life occurrences like the loss of loved ones, job loss, domestic violence, divorce and family disputes. Other impairments such as depression, untreated mental illness, post traumatic stress disorder, and physical disabilities are also responsible for a large portion of homeless.” (http://www.homeaid.org/homeaid-stories/69/top-causes-of-homelessness).

Needless to say, homelessness and poverty go hand in hand. People who live from hand to mouth can easily be pushed into homelessness by job loss, sudden sickness, accident etc. I wonder if the high rate of inflation, high cost of living and an equally high unemployment rate as well as continuous decline in manufacturing jobs are factors that further push people closer to the poverty line. Because a large number of manufacturing jobs keep moving overseas, the low income wage earner finds it harder to stay employed. Is it my imagination that the middle class is shrinking in numbers? The poor get poorer and the rich get richer, meanwhile the middle class is corroding and possibly joining the ranks of the poor, as salaries and jobs fail to rise in comparison to the high cost of living.

The reasons for homelessness are many. But the million dollar question is, “What can we do about it?”

This is a mighty problem we face. Before we jump in to suggesting solutions, it is important to remember; that “Homelessness” is not merely about a condition in which one is homeless, but more importantly it is about self insufficiency or the inability to provide for oneself due to any number of causes. Although the individual and the state jointly own the lion share of providing its people with affordable housing and subsidy programs, all of us as fellow citizens and neighbors have a responsibility to fulfill as well.

Help people help themselves. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for life. If you can, carve some time out of your busy life and donate your time to charities, schools, local institutions to help people in need. Teach children and young adults a new trade. Donate your time to help others, teach them whatever you are good at.

Donate goods, food and time to charities. Most of us are good about saving our well used items and donating them. I do not support donating dollar bills to homeless people as I worry it may promote rather than hinder poverty, however any act done out of kindness is better than nothing.

Be kind. Above all treat people with respect and kindness, the same respect that you would like to receive. Sometimes a simple word of kindness goes a long way in warming a distressed heart. I feel no words can explain it better than these simple words from the Bible, “Do to others as you would have them do to you”.

Give people a second chance. A lot of times people make mistakes and get into trouble. Being involved in Bankruptcy, foreclosure, lawsuit and or having a criminal record can mar a person’s chances for employment for years. But isn’t America supposed to be the land of opportunities? If a person made a mistake once, but has paid his/ her dues and taken steps to work on improving one’s situation then they should be offered a second chance. Employers should consider people with a less than glowing background a chance at improving their lives. Not giving them a second chance will only cause them to go further into the dark dungeon they just came out of.

None of these acts alone, may be enough to end homelessness but we cannot shun responsibility entirely simply because a perfect solution may not yet be in sight. We can continue to work with charities to see how we can further prevent more people from falling below the poverty line and into the throes of homelessness.

Remember that the homeless man or woman you see on the streets could well have been you or me, with a simple twist of fate. Let’s do our best today and every day to help others around us. Even small drops of kindness can fill an ocean of love. Do you have a story to share on this subject? Do you have an idea how we can play our part in helping homelessness and ameliorating poverty in our neighborhood? If so, I look forward to hearing from you.